


We are Us

by RosenMae



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, College, Fluff and Angst, I Apologize Now, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, This is going to be a long fic, Threesome - F/M/M, Violence, eventually, it's actually a really sweet story I swear, oyaoyaoya, possible trigger warning, tagging is hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-05-25 19:14:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 46,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14983739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosenMae/pseuds/RosenMae
Summary: At 17 Shū was sick and tired of the word "soulmates".There are plenty of reasons that everyone and their dog revolve their lives around soulmates, but her strong arms covered in dark sleeves showed that she wasn't like everyone else. She would even go as far as to say that "Soulmarks" is a stupid name for the experience that soulmates share. Soulmark; The way that soulmates share skin.  Marks that appear on one person's skin will also appear on the other's. It's usually used to pass notes to each other, often using those notes to find each other. But the Soulmarks are so much more than that. Not just ink and words, but bruises; though the soulmate would only experience the shared a muted version of the pain briefly. A soulmate was someone that you shared your soul with after all, it made sense that there were shared experiences that came along with that. The physical connection was expected, but the mental connection was more important, she thinks. It was so small in a way, a dull ache behind eyes, tears piling up unexpectedly, humming to yourself on a good day, just little things that made it so that you knew they were out there.Yeah, she was pretty tired of it.





	1. Chapter 1- We Met

**Author's Note:**

> When it comes to the Soulmarks- Hajime's words are bold, Tooru's are bold and italics, Shu's are italics.  
> Enjoy!

At 17 Shū was sick and tired of the word "soulmates".

There are plenty of reasons that everyone and their dog revolve their lives around soulmates, but her strong arms covered in dark sleeves showed that she wasn't like everyone else. She would even go as far as to say that "Soulmarks" is a stupid name for the experience that soulmates share. Soulmark; The way that soulmates share skin.  Marks that appear on one person's skin will also appear on the other's. It's usually used to pass notes to each other, often using those notes to find each other. But the Soulmarks are so much more than that. Not just ink and words, but bruises; though the soulmate would only experience the shared a muted version of the pain briefly. A soulmate was someone that you shared your soul with after all, it made sense that there were shared experiences that came along with that. The physical connection was expected, but the mental connection was more important, she thinks. It was so small in a way, a dull ache behind eyes, tears piling up unexpectedly, humming to yourself on a good day, just little things that made it so that you knew they were out there.

Shū pulled the tight under-armor shirt further over her hands as she walked as slowly as she could for home. 28 different times today she had heard the word Soulmates. Out of habit she adjusted her sleeves down to cover most of her fingers. Yeah, she was pretty tired of it.

 

-

 

She had been 6 years old when she'd run to her parents to show them the two different colors of ink tracing up her skin. She'd been 6 years old when her mother took a blow that was meant for her, and her mother told her to start wearing the long sleeves. At 7 years old, she learned to be careful to not get injured so she wouldn't cause her soulmates any pain. For several years she spoke to her mother about soulmates in hushed tones and secretly admired the messy scrawl and shared scrapes on her skin with cautious wonder. Every time she thought about picking up a pen to reply, she thought about the angry purple marks on her mother's skin and pulled her sleeves back down to her wrists. In those years, some things were hard, but mostly things were good, or so she had thought.

When she was 10 she had come home to a dark house that smelled uncharacteristically devoid of her mother's cooking, but only held the burning smell of cheap liquor. There had been holes in the walls and picture frames laying in shattered glass on the floor.

She was 11 when she learned that if she held her arms a certain way (parallel to the ground and forearms facing out) any bruises she got pretty much matched the ones her soulmates had been getting for the last couple years. She was also 11 when she learned that the stomach was indeed the way to a man's heart, or at least the better she cooked the less he seemed to be angry.

She was 12 when she walked into a bar for the first time, taking short breaths through her mouth after the first pungent inhale of various spilled liquids and contained smoke had nearly made her sick. A bartender tried to get her to leave, but in the end had helped shoulder the weeping, greasy father into a taxi. She was 12 when she learned that the difference between an emotional drunk and an angry drunk was just one glass.

13 was the year she learned to practice a simple lie to explain why her arms were covered when everyone else bore their marred skin proudly. It was when she was 13 that one of her teachers had suggested that she try running, and she learned to love the simple way that it made her forget about everything except putting one foot in front of the other. 13 was the year the teachers told them that soulmates could occasionally feel mental pain from their soulmates.

She was 14 when she learned that she could put up a mental block in her mind so her soulmates wouldn't be able to feel any emotional distress from her.  14 was when she taught herself to murmur apologies and make herself as small as possible, wedged into tiny forgotten spaces that were overlooked by the raging adult. 14 was the year she learned the meaning of the words "fucking soulmate slut". 14 was the year she stopped looking at the words on her arms even in the safety of her darkened room or the shower. It was also when she was 14 that she started patching up her dad from the bar fights, she studied medicine on her own so that she would know how serious his injuries were.

15 was the year that she started growing into her skin. Running everyday meant that she filled out nicely and after an argument with her father, she died her hair a boring dark brown which only seemed to highlight her steel colored eyes. She was 15 when boys started to take notice of her, but she only noticed them back long enough to note that she was now tall enough to look most of them in the eye, which was a new experience because she had stopped trying to meet her father's gaze long ago. 15 was also the year she was forced onto the volleyball team for sports day and she finally learned what had caused all those years of stinging forearms and aching fingers. She almost looked at the words on her arms that day. Almost.

16 was a good year, she started high school and chose a happy-drunk night to tell her father about her spending more time with school clubs. Running was a good distraction and she attended the morning practices regularly, but used the evenings to get a job. At 16, she felt pretty confident about checking the doorway for the tell tale signs of anger before she came inside, and learned how to climb out and in the window without making a single sound. At 16, her hair was long and her gaze was confident. For the first time, she walked through the door of a bar, looped her father's arm over her shoulder and carried him out without getting questioned. She didn't need help to support his weight anymore,  and she still didn't know if that said more about him or about herself at this point.

She had just turned 17 when she finally met _them._

 

-

 

Working two jobs and doing school was really starting to get to her. She had started skipping even morning track practice every other day to pick up a second job. The coach only kept her on the team because she was good, and it was obvious that she was practicing on her own time, not to mention that she was an excellent resource to the team when it came to injuries. At events, she used her medical knowledge to take care of the team. And even though she showed up for maybe a quarter of the practices, she could still outrun most of the team.  
She yawned as she left the school building after practice and having to stay to listen to coach give a lecture about how much club time she missed. The late nights sneaking into the house, trips to the bar to fetch her dad, pretending that the smiles she gave out at school were genuine; it was all driving her right to complete exhaustion.  Even though this was a rare evening off of work,  going home right now sounded like the opposite of a good idea, maybe she could go fall asleep at the library, pretending to be there to study for the upcoming exams.

Closing her eyes while walking was probably not her smartest plan. When a shout came from behind her, she ignored it, too focused on keeping her feet moving to notice that her feet had already left the sidewalk and wandered into the crosswalk.

A horn blared right next to her and her eyes shot open to see lights hurtling directly towards her. Strong hands clamped around her waist and yanked her backwards out of the street not a moment too soon.

The boy who had rescued her had sent them both tumbling hard into the ground, they each put out their right hands to stop themselves but because he had been supporting her too he took the worst of the fall. Pain laced up her right wrist, but after a moment it wasn't as bad as she'd originally thought. After a moment and several shaky breaths she was able to open her eyes again. Finally, she looked at her rescuer.

The boy was about her age, he was wearing the familiar Seijou uniform which was rolled up over his elbows, revealing strong arms covered in little messages and he was cradling one of those arms to his chest. When his eyes shot up and met hers she was met by stunning green orbs full of intensity and focus.

"Are you alright? That was dangerous! Pay attention when you're walking!" His strong voice was deep and had the harsh edge of adrenaline in it. The sound startled her back into reality.

She scrambled to her feet and ran the few steps to where he'd rolled to after they'd fallen.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Here, let me see your arm."

She tucked her hair behind her ear and gently took the hand he was cradling against himself. Once again, she was grateful to herself for learning about injuries and first aid. The boy stared at her silently, only grunting in response to her quiet inquires about his wrist. The wrist was bruised and had started to swell, some angry red scrapes decorated his palm. But the movement was good, each finger moved with only a wince from him. After she'd checked them all, she sighed in relief.

"Good. It's only a light sprain. You need ice and a wrap. We could go to the hospital, but the school nurse will still be in the school, she'll patch you up a lot faster than a hospital will. What do you prefer?"

She looked back up into those striking green eyes and he nodded.

"School Nurse is fine."

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" When he shook his head, she gathered up their dropped school bags and offered him a hand up. Before they started walking, he pulled out a soulmate pen from his bag (the markers were designed to wash off skin easily) and struggled only a little to write with his left hand. Shū tried not to look too closely, but she noticed the panicked words currently scrawling along his arm and the simple words he wrote back.

 **I'm fine. School Nurse** _._

They weren't far from the school and were soon into the nurse's office. The nurse was a chatty woman with a quiet voice. She patched the boy up quickly and had him hold an ice pack to his swollen hand. Then the nurse turned to Shū and quickly disinfected the small scrapes on her hand. The nurse chided them both to be more careful and then scurried out of the room to get some paperwork.

The silence was thick and the heater in the room had Shū cursing her long sleeves.

"I want to say thank you." She glanced over at the strong looking boy cautiously. "You probably saved my life just now, and I..." She swallowed thickly, glancing down at the bandage on her palm. "Thank you. For saving me. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you..." She left the offer hanging in the air, turning to look at the boy again, startled by the way his stern features melted into a  gentle smile.

He shook his head and smiled a little bit brighter. "What's your name?"

"Shiori. Most people just call me Shū." If he was surprised that she didn't give him her family name, he didn't show it.

"I'm Iwaizumi Hajime. I'm glad you're okay." He flipped open his phone that had been beeping constantly since they'd met.

A breath caught in her throat and Shū forced herself to let it out. Just because it had been years since she'd looked at her wrists didn't mean that she had forgotten. _Hajime_ , the boy had said. She told herself it was nothing, a simple coincidence. Hajime was a fairly common name, even if she'd never met another one. It was fine.  She took another deep breath.

"Is that your soulmate?" She nodded at the phone and the boy, Hajime,  no,  _Iwaizumi_ , chuckled softly at the phone.

"Yeah. He's such a drama queen." The fond tone in his voice brought a smile to her own face.

"It's nice to be cared for." She said absently and he nodded.

"He'll probably say something stupid when he gets here though. Complaining about club activities or offering 'I'll be your right hand!'" He had pitched his voice up in an obvious imitation and then chuckled. "Idiot."

Shū just hummed thoughtfully at that, her legs kicking at the air below the bed she was sitting on. "What club?"

"Volleyball." The word made her blood turn cold. A Hajime that played Volleyball. The words she hid underneath her sleeves practically started burning.

 _It's a coincidence._ She lied to herself desperately.

That lie was shattered the second the stillness of the room had been interrupted with a loud shout of "Iwa-chaaaaan!"

It was a nickname she couldn't ignore, it instantly confirmed exactly who the boys next to her were. _Soulmates!_ Her heart had cried and she quickly swiped away the tear that fell down her cheek before either of the boys noticed it.

Her eyes stared straight ahead as the two boys quickly exchanged words.

"Iwa-chan, how will you play volleyball like this? I can't believe that after all your scolding about my knee, you're the one who was being reckless."

Shū glanced out of the corner of her eye at the brown haired boy. She remembered the knee injury, the hours of mental and physical exhaustion that came the days before it.

"I know. I know." The black haired boy grumbled in return. They were so different, lights and darks, gruff and smiley, simple and gaudy. They balanced each other well, but that was something that she'd known years ago, just by reading the words they tossed back and forth to each other.

"What will you do without your right hand, Iwa-chan? Oh, I know! I can be your right hand!" The boy giggled at the idea, she realized that she didn't know his name, thinking back on the nicknames on her arms she realized she couldn't exactly call him "idiot" or "Trashykawa".

Shū found herself scoffing at the way that Haj- Iwaizumi had perfectly predicted what this boy would say. Iwaizumi had made the exact same sound and for a moment both boys stared at her.

The nurse came back in and had them sign some paperwork before leaving again.

Finally, Iwaizumi turned his attention back to the other boy and placed his uninjured hand on the other boys hair affectionately.

"Stupid. It's not like I need that. You're going to be too busy with club to be helping me anyway."

The brown haired boy was very good looking, and he placed his hand over his mouth to cover a sound that could only be described as a giggle. "Oh, I know! Should I make handmade bento?"

"I thought you were being helpful, not poisoning me."

"Rude, Iwa-chan!"

The two boys stood and Shū realized with alarm that they were about to leave. Sudden panic set into her veins, her eyes widening, heart pounding, and fingers shaking slightly.

"Let me!" Both boys turned, confused at her outburst. "Ah... I mean. It's my fault that you're injured. You did save my life today, so let me repay you somehow."

"That's not-" Iwaizumi started, but the other boy interrupted, with a dramatic gesture to the purple mark across his wrist and a large smirk on his lips.

"Oh? Look at my wrist, I got hurt too you know-"

"Trashykawa..." Hajime warned but the other boy plowed right over his words.

"-are you going to make it up to me as well?"

Haji- _Iwaizumi_ frowned and opened his mouth to criticize the other boy but was interrupted by abrupt laughter. Shū couldn't help it, they were ridiculous, and somehow even better than she had imagined. After she gained her breath back she looked back at them, smile still on her face.

"Sure. It doesn't really equal what you did for me though. Ah, how about I make it up to you until your wrist is healed? Bento's for both of you, right? Any requests? And is there anything else I can help you with in the meantime? Midterms are coming up, my best subjects are Math, Japanese and English. If it's the other subjects,  I could call in a favor or two for you."

"You're serious about this, aren't you?" Iwaizumi was looking at her thoughtfully, while the brown haired boy's eyes were practically gleaming.

She nodded firmly and stretched out her hand to the second boy, determined to learn his name.

"I'm Shū. I'm extremely grateful to your soulmate, and to you. I don't like having to owe people things, so I hope you'll let me repay this debt."

The boy tilted his head, hair falling perfectly to the side as he flashed a million dollar smile and shook her hand.

"I'm Oikawa Tooru. We'll be in your care."

 

-

 

"Yuki! Can I get a huge favor from you?" Shū called up her best friend as soon as the boys left. It didn't take long for her to explain the situation and listen to Yuki laugh about the whole incident. Soon she was over at Yuki's, dividing up the groceries she'd bought into 4 bento boxes. Two were for the boys she met today, one for herself, and another for Yuki as payment for using her kitchen. The other girl leaned on the counter, snatching little pieces of the lunches to snack on.

"So tell me again why you can't use your kitchen?"

"You know how my dad is," Shū said the almost-lie easily, "He'll be all weird about it if I tell him what they're for and probably end up eating the boxes without even realizing that they're not for him." Of course she had never introduced Yuki to her dad, but she often told these little half-truths so her friend thought she understood the situation. The other girl tilted back her head of pretty hair and laughed.

"Well, I don't mind, we've got lots of room in our fridge anyway. And you know I'd do anything to steal some of your cooking."

"Lucky for you then." Shū returned her smirk easily as she put the finishing touches in the boxes.

"Do you want to stay over tonight?"

Shū pretended to think about it. "I can't. I've got the morning shift at work tomorrow."

"You should really take some time off for exams you know. You'll end up over working yourself."

"Thanks for worrying, Mom. You take such good care of me." Shū rolled her eyes for emphasis as she put the bentos in the fridge. "Thanks again for this. I'll swing by on my way to school to grab them, okay?"

"Did you put an extra side in mine?"

"You know I did."

"Yay!" The petite girl followed Shū to the door. "Are you sure you don't want to stay a little later?"

"Nah. I've got to be rushing home. Dad probably hasn't eaten dinner yet."

"Yeah, yeah. Off you go then."

"Thanks, Yuks.  See you tomorrow."

"Bye bye!" The girl called after her as she waved over her shoulder as she went down the sidewalk.

As soon as Shū heard the door close behind her she broke into a run. It was true that her dad probably hadn't eaten yet, it was the beginning of the week which meant that it was likely that it was going to be a bad day. She had to hurry, maybe if she was lucky she could get home in time to whip some dinner together before he got home. No such luck.

When she arrived home, the lights were already on. She toed off her shoes and hurried to the kitchen.

"Where have you been?" The gruff voice stopped her in her tracks, and her breath stuck in her throat.

"I was with a friend. Studying. Exams are coming up."

"Whatever. I don't know why you still go to that school. Drop out, go get a job so you can buy me more sake. It's the least you could do after I've taken care of your ass for all these years."

Shū tried to keep her voice even and gentle as she replied.

"We've talked about this. There's only a year left of scho-"

"Waste of my damn money is what it is. You're not going to a college anyway. I won't pay for it."

"I know, Dad." She carefully kept her emotion out of her voice. It was a discussion that they had often, after all. "Would you like me to make dinner?"

The man just grumbled darkly to himself. She quickly turned on the stove and began making a simple meal as quickly as she could. Wordlessly she put the food on the coffee table in front of him and went to walk away. A large hand clamped painfully around her wrist before she could leave.

After a few experimental tugs of her arm it became obvious that she couldn't get free easily so she stopped trying.

He said nothing, just stared at her with blurry eyes.

"I have homework." His grip tightened on her and she winced against the bruise that had been left from the Soulmarks earlier. The back of her mind registered that it was good that it was in the same spot so her soulmates wouldn't notice.

"Please let go so you can eat your dinner."

He clicked his tongue but released her without a word. She refrained from cradling the injury close to herself or from breathing out a sigh of relief until she was back in her room with the door firmly shut in between them.

One forced breath, then another, hissed out in between her teeth as she tried to still her shaking fingers. Cautiously, she rolled up her sleeve to look at the finger shaped marks over the angry Soulmark bruise. It wasn't too bad. After a moment, she took a deep breath to steel her heart and pushed the sleeve further up, glancing over the writing until...

**I'm fine. School Nurse.**

There, in bold, somewhat sloppy writing were the words she had watched Hajime write. That confirmed it then. There was a soft thud as she slid to the floor, back still against the door.

 _I know my soulmates._ It was such a strange thought. After everything, and all the time she spent not looking at her arms, trying not to acknowledge it, and now they were right in front of her. Part of her wanted to yank off her shirt and check each and every word on her skin, but she left that thought there on the floor as she pushed herself up to get ready for bed.

 

The next day passed uneventfully up until lunch, when she grabbed the extra bento's and made her way to Iwaizumi's classroom. He informed her that him and his soulmate usually ate on the roof, so they headed that way.

"How's your wrist?"

"Ah." He held it up, white bandage covering most of his hand. "It'll be fine soon. It doesn't actually hurt that much."

The continued to make small talk until they reached the roof.

"So where is Oikawa?"

"Probably untangling himself from his fangirls." The boy rolled his eyes as he said it.

"Oh! So that _was_ him. I thought I recognized the name. Even though he has a soulmate, they're still like that? Don't you get jealous?"

He shrugged. "I do. But he indulges them so there's not much I can do about it. Our friends tell me that he gets just as jealous, but I've never really seen it. It feels a little one sided that way I guess." He looked at little surprised at himself- like he hadn't planned to say so much.

"You wanna see it?"

"Yeah. I guess I do." He laughed a little. "Is that wrong of me?"

"No. I think that's normal. I was just thinking that I can probably help you with that, you know."

 

It wasn't long before Tooru, no, _Oikawa_ showed up. He came bouncing into the roof space, brown hair flicking by his ears gracefully, and a shinning smile on his face. His smile grew when he saw Hajime, and Shū found it hard to believe that anyone believed Tooru's usual smile was completely genuine. She cursed herself silently at not being able to keep their names formal in her head, and swore to try harder.

"Yoo hoo!" The boy called as he flounced over to them and took a seat next to his soulmate.

"Glad you could join us." Shū said back and quickly distributed the bento boxes. Oikawa instantly started chatting away. Iwaizumi seemed to not be listening, but his shoulders relaxed and a small smile found it's way on to his face.

After a moment of investigating his box Iwaizumi turned to her.

"Are there more chopsticks?"

"Nope!" Shū beamed at him brightly. "I figured you'd have trouble using them with your hand. So that's what I'm here for." She brandished her chopsticks with a grin, and Oikawa made an indignant squawk which she ignored. She scooped up a piece of Iwaizumi's lunch and held it out to him. Both boys looked surprised, but Iwaizumi recovered first, leaning in to take the offered bite of food. Oikawa instantly wilted. His arms crossed, eyes darkened, his lips came out in something between a pout and a frown. The boy practically folded in on himself in that moment.

The shutter on her camera phone clicked loudly and both boys looked startled as she quickly typed on her phone.

"And... sent."

Before they could ask, a chime went off on Iwaizumi's phone and he opened the message to see the picture of a very jealous looking Oikawa. A small grin crept on to Iwaizumi's face.

"Wow. You move fast." Shū returned his grin easily.

"What can I say? I'll take on any requests until your hand is all healed."

"What? What is it?" Oikawa scooted over so he could see, making another squawk when he realized what had happened. He made as if to swipe the phone but Iwaizumi deftly kept it away from him.

"Also, here. I wasn't lying before when I said I'd thought about if you'd have trouble with chopsticks." Shū handed Iwaizumi the fork she had packed for him.

Oikawa continued to pout for a little bit until Shū asked about volleyball, which both boys were more than willing to talk about.

The conversation eventually died down and Shū caught herself staring at the boys matching arms. Mostly she stared at the one line she had seen in her own skin yesterday, more firmly cementing the fact that it wasn't at all a coincidence.

Neither of the boys turned away from the attentions of her gaze, neither had a reason to. But she realized she'd made a mistake when Oikawa leaned in towards her, his lips pulled up in a mischievous smile.

"So... Shū-chan. What's up with the sleeves?"

Iwaizumi reached over and wacked his soulmate in the back of the head. "Shittykawa! You can't just ask that. It's personal."

"Ow! But I'm curious!" The boy whined.

"It's okay. I think everybody asks at some point so it's not exactly a secret." Shū lowered her eyes to her sleeves and prepared the lie that she'd been telling for years. "My soulmate and I... aren't exactly on speaking terms."

"So you don't get along?" Oikawa tilted his head curiously.

"Not really."

Iwaizumi was the one who asked the next question. "So, wouldn't that mean that you don't write to each other?"

"Well, I don't. But my arms are covered in things that they write. It's just not stuff that I would be willing to show. Or read."

"I... see. That... really sucks." Oikawa said, his normal brilliance seemed dimmed by the heavy topic.

Shū laughed easily, the lies slipping off her tongue. "No worries. Maybe in a couple years, things will finally be different."

The bell rang and saved her from their pity-filled eyes.

"That's the bell. Any requests for lunch tomorrow?"

Oikawa opened his mouth, probably to request something ridiculous, but Iwaizumi placed his hand over the other's mouth. "Everything was great."

"Alright. Well, if you need anything in the meantime, you have my number."

She figured they wouldn't use it, but she didn't hang around to hear their reply. Even though she'd just met them, it was kind of hard for her to walk away. Though she couldn't tell if that was because they were soulmates, or because she _knew_ that they were soulmates. With a sinking feeling in her gut she determined to keep as much distance between them as she could.

 

-

 

Shū had never exactly had very good luck, which is exactly why she should have expected that it would be harder than she thought to keep away from them. After school she found Hajime sitting in her favorite spot in the school library.

"Fancy seeing you here." He said easily before she could slip away to find a new spot. There wasn't a good explanation for if she blatantly avoided them, so she placed her bag on the desk and took the seat across from him.

"I kind of expected you to still be at the club even if you couldn't participate."

"Tooru kicked me out."

Shū smiled at that, she could picture it pretty well.

"What are you working on?"

"Working might not be the right term. I'm staring at this math problem."

"Did you want some help?"

"Oh yeah, you said you were good at math, right? At this point I'll take all the help I can get."

Shū smiled and opened her own book. In a few minutes, she relocated to next to him so it was easier to explain. And they were still like that two hours later when words abruptly started appearing on Hajime's arm.

**_Rude, Iwa-chan! Don't turn your phone off! Did you go home yet? Let's walk home together!_ **

Haj- _Why was this so hard? Iwaizumi_ apologized to Shū before quickly scribbling a reply and then starting to pack up his work. The two of them walked out together and met Tooru- _Oikawa_ just outside the front entrance.

The boy flashed a peace sign, his hair was still dripping a bit from showering after practice. His smile was brilliant, but the edges of it stretched just a bit too far, just enough to be fake.

"Shū-chan! Iwa-chan said you were tutoring him, thanks for trying to get through to this muscle-brain!"

Iwaizumi smacked Oikawa with his good hand.

"Don't be rude. I have better grades than you in half the subjects."

Oikawa grabbed at the back of his head. "That's not true! My last marks were way better!"

"Maybe, but you should still ask Shiori-chan to tutor you."

Shū felt the laughter in the back of her throat and didn't hide it as well as she thought she did because both boys turned to her. Iwaizumi frowned and Oikawa lifted his eyebrows.

She forced down the laughter with a cough. "Sorry, you just called me _Shiori-chan_."

Iwaizumi's cheeks turned pink and she nearly started laughing again.

"But, I don't know your last name." He defended.

She did laugh then, the sound rolling off her lips easier than it had in a long time.

"I'm not offended. But you really can just call me Shū. I prefer it actually."

"Shū." He said the word carefully, testing it on his tongue. "Okay then."

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ah." Surprisingly, it was Oikawa who stopped her. "Let us walk you home." He reached out an arm as if to loop it around her shoulders and she jumped back from him quickly.

"No!" All three of them jolted at her sudden proclamation. She scrambled to find an excuse. "Sorry, I just have somewhere to stop by on my way home so that's really not necessary. I appreciate the offer though. Really." The words tumbled out of her mouth and she took a step back as she finished her rush of words. They stared at each other for a long moment and then she squeaked out a quick "See you!" and was hurrying down the road. She missed the way the boys' shared a glance at her departure. The only thing she really knew in that moment was that she could never let the boy's near her home or her father. They might not know that she was their soulmate but she already knew she would do anything to keep them safe. Even if, or maybe especially if, that meant keeping them away from her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short. It involves various time skips.

 

"Here you go." She deposited the bento boxes and turned to walk away, determined to put some distance between them.

"Ah, wait a-!" Calloused fingers grasped around her wrist. Instantly she jerked her hand away, yanking it up against her chest protectively. She felt her eyes go wide as she spun so she was facing them and at the same time took several stumbling steps away from them. Oikawa stared at her with eyes equally as wide, his hand still outstretched towards where she was huddled away from him.

Quickly she forced herself to take a breath and straighten back up, she forced her shoulders upright out of their defensive curl and released her arms to hang casually by her side. The whole thing took a few seconds from when he had touched her and she had reacted and then relaxed.

"Um." At Oikawa's hesitance she schooled her face into a more condescending expression than usual, it was practically a sneer, and both of the boys seemed to take in a breath at seeing that cold look in her eyes.

"I'm in a hurry. I'll see you tomorrow." She said with ice in her voice before continuing to walk away.

 

-

 

"So~?"

"Don't you start." Shū scowled over her half-made lunches at her friend. Yuki laughed, short and sweet, before putting her elbows on the table, her chin in her hands.

"You're no fun! Tell me about the famed Oikawa-kun and his soulmate."

"Iwaizumi. It's not just Oikawa you know. And I don't know. They're..." _Everything._ "Fun."

"Fun?" Her brown eyes flashed with humor, "But you don't know how to have fun, Shū." Shū merely scowled in response. "See, this is what I mean. You and that grumpy soulmate probably get along so well."

Shū felt her cheeks darken. "Stop teasing me or I'll make your portion smaller."

Yuki gasped dramatically but instantly clammed up. Shū ignored her friend's stare and quickly finished the lunches, only looking up once she had finished. Yuki was still leaning her chin on her hands, but her mischievous expression had been replaced with something much softer. The fond smile stretched lazily across her lips.

"Well, I'm glad that you are having fun anyway." She said the words like she might say more but then she pushed back and stretched away from the table. "I don't suppose I could convince you to stay?"

Shū gave a small smile and shook her head. "Not today, sorry, I have an evening shift in 20 minutes."

At the door, Yuki ruffled at Shū's hair. "Be free, my young sapling."

"I may be younger than you but that doesn't make any sense." Shū replied as she brushed off the other girl's hands and turned down the sidewalk.

 

 -

 

Shū gripped the tupperware containers in her hands a little tighter as she stared at the gym door. On the other side of the door she could hear the sounds of the gym being set up, loud laughter cutting through the sounds of the team working together. She took a deep breath to steady herself, she had no real reason to be nervous so she straightened her shoulders and settled an easy smile on her face and pushed the door open. The flurry of activity didn't stop and no one cast a glance her way except for the coach, and he had already been expecting her; she hurried over to him quickly.

"Hey, Coach. Thanks for letting me join today."

"Ah, Sakomoto-chan. Thanks for coming, we can use the extra help." Shū winced slightly at the use of her last name and quickly took the opportunity to request that he call her by her preferred nickname. Hajime was quick to appear at her side after that.

"Hey, Shū. Thanks for coming." The boy looked at her with soft eyes as he ever-so-gently placed a hand on her back. She covered up her involuntary flinch by putting the tupperware containers on the bench.

"I'm happy to help." She responded to his comment, though she could feel the fake-ness in the smile she tossed over her shoulder at him. They quickly explained to her what she would be doing and then turned back to their own tasks. The team captain came up and introduced himself, he was an insanely tall brown haired boy with sharp, mean eyes.

Hajime had mentioned during one of their study sessions that the volleyball team needed a manager, so she came to temporarily fill in the position. She lied to herself when she said that she was only doing this as part of her obligation to help the boys until Iwaizumi's hand was healed, but she couldn't really use that as an excuse when he was already back to playing volleyball. When practice came to an official start the coach called everyone over and that drew everyone's attention to her; normally she didn't really mind being the center of attention but in that moment she felt a large nervousness go through her as the collection of boys merely stared.

"Introduce yourself." The coach urged and she jumped a little.

"Ah! I'm Shū. Haj-" She nearly bit her own tongue at the slip of calling him by his first name, and desperately hoped her cheeks weren't as red as they suddenly felt as she quickly finished her sentence, "Iwaizumi-kun told me that you had a big tournament coming up and you could use a manager to help out until then. So, I'll be temporarily helping out." She quickly bowed to them and that was that. The coach was already speaking when she lifted her head, but her eyes came up to meet Oikawa's and she flinched under his gaze. His creamy brown eyes were narrowed dangerously, though it wasn't quite a glare. She wasn't sure how she would explain the slip of his soulmate's name, but for now she merely looked away.

Volleyball practice was fun, and she quickly learned a lot about the sport and about her responsibility as the manager, even if she had to deal with the suspicious looks from Oikawa every time he glanced her way.

It wasn't too bad though, and she felt like she was used to the atmosphere and her expectations by the time they had finished their second practice. She liked it, it was a lot more fun watching the team interact than it had been to be a part of the track team, so she committed to staying until after their big tournament happened, even though Hajime's wrist would be healed by then.

 

Only a few days after she had started managing the volleyball team, she found herself sitting at her desk during the first break, scowling at the bento boxes she made the boys everyday. Ever since she had started spending time with the boys she had been trying to figure out how to not spend too much time with them; for her own sanity she should try to put some distance between them and herself.

"That's a scary face." Shū jumped at the voice that sounded much too close to her and immediately turned her glare at it's source. The pink haired boy put his hands up and took a step back, but his teasing smile didn't go away. He was familiar, he was in her class but also was a second year on the volleyball team and he hung out with Iwaizumi and Oikawa often. She couldn't remember his name. "Hey, no need for the glare, I just thought I'd strike up a conversation with the new volleyball manager."

Shū schooled the scowl off of her face. "Sorry, I was deep in thought."

The lanky boy plopped down in the desk in front of hers, sprawling out obnoxiously. "Thinking about a certain pair of meathead volleyball soulmates?" His grin was wolfish and she kept all the emotion off of her face as she tilted her head to the side.

"Can you be more specific?" She deadpanned and the boy burst into laughter, she wracked her brain to try to remember his name. Was it Mak-something? Tak-something?

"I can't believe this year is almost over and I'm just meeting you now, Shū-chan."

"What can I say, I'm a hidden treasure, Takahiro." The shock in his eyes was enough for her to congratulate herself on getting the name right, but also realize that that was probably his given name. "Sorry, I'm bad at remembering family names."

His mouth formed a silent "o" before it turned up again into a mischievous grin. "I see. I'll be honest, when you called Iwaizumi by his first name most of us thought that you were crushing on the guy."

Shū fought to carefully keep her expression neutral, but tilted her head to the side curiously. "Why would I crush on someone who is so obviously in love with his soulmate?"

Takahiro burst into laughter suddenly. "Well, Oikawa has all of those fans that do just that, doesn't he?"

"I'm not a fangirl." Shū stated firmly.

"I see that." The pink-haired boy grinned, getting up as the bell rang. "My name is Hanamaki, by the way. I wouldn't want you to call me by the wrong thing and make my soulmate jealous."

"I'll remember it." She promised lightly and he flashed her a grin full of humor before finally moving back to his seat. She had a feeling that her life was about to get just a little bit more interesting.

 

-

 

Shū cut an imposing figure. She always had. She was taller than average, muscular from the years she had spent on the track team, and her eyes held a hard edge of fire that could send people running with a single glare. That's how it had always been, so when she found herself surrounded by Oikawa's fanclub one afternoon she was more surprised than distressed.

"You're kidding me right now, right?" She drew herself up to her full height and crossed her arms over her chest. "Is this some shoujo manga where a group of girls threatens another girl for getting too close to the main characters? Are you for real?" A couple of the girls had the decency to take a step back sheepishly at her words.

"Actually," The girl who was clearly the leader spoke up, her voice like poison laced honey, "Maybe we could work together. You are in love with Iwaizumi-san, aren't you? Well, it would greatly benefit us if he were conveniently out of the picture."

Shū shook her head at the realization of what the girls wanted. "You're sick, you know that? Those boys are soulmates, and they're damn good together too. Get your head out of your ass and let go of your petty crush. Both of those boys deserve a lot more than you. Focus on your own soulmate instead, why don't you? If you really admired Tooru that much, you would just want him to be happy. So stop being a crazy, psycho- bitch and be a normal person for once."

Shū started to walk around the girl who's face was turning red in anger, but the girl grabbed her wrist. Shū twisted around, spinning quick enough so she jerked her hand away and ended up turning the other girl around to be slammed into the wall with Shū's arm over her throat.

"Do. Not. Fucking. Touch. Me."

The girl's all scattered as their leader slumped down onto the grass and Shū turned away without another look. She couldn't really find it in her to care about the situation, after all. Though it was maybe out of spite that she decided to stay as the manager for the volleyball team for a bit longer than originally planned.

 

-

 

After that, there didn't seem to be much chance to keep away from the boys. They started seeing each other everywhere. It wasn't just the lunches or the study sessions that were becoming a nearly daily occurrence. She started seeing them in the other pieces of her life. She ran into Oikawa while buying new running shoes, and the next day they both walked into the coffee shop where she works. She passed them walking through the park when she was on her evening run, and bumped shoulders with Iwaizumi while checking the vegetables in the grocery store. The boys found it just as surprising, but accepted it without a second thought. "Maybe we were always crossing paths and just never noticed before." To Shū it felt like fate was throwing every trick it had at them to push them together. For example- one night Shū forgot her homework at school and she would have taken her bike but it's tire was flat so she ended up taking the same train Oikawa was taking because he'd forgotten to bring home the video of his opponents last game.

Despite Shū's reluctance to be involved, and her obvious annoyance at the way fate smashed their lives together, she couldn't stop herself from liking the boys. She liked listening to Oikawa speak and watching the crease in Iwaizumi's forehead when he was concentrating. She liked watching them interact with each other, Iwaizumi grounded Oikawa while Oikawa gave Iwaizumi wings. They understood each other so well and she found herself more and more wanting to be a part of that. A small, platonic part that could slip away from them if it ever became a problem to be too close to them.

That's what she told herself anyway as she found herself at Oikawa's, bent over school books while Iwaizumi scowled at his calculator like it had personally offended him. It's how she found herself standing beside the bench at volleyball practice handing out waters and timing their drills during the weekends when she wasn't working. It's how she found herself serving them both coffee and offering them advice on the homework they were studying when she was on her breaks.

Iwaizumi's wrist healed in no time, and so Shū stopped making them lunch, but still found herself in their huddle on the roof during lunch, her knee somehow always pressed up against one of theirs.  

Oikawa jokingly told Makki that Shū had replaced him as Oikawa's best friend, and even though Makki had protested, no one had been surprised by that declaration. Matsun had leaned over his soulmate's shoulders, though Makki didn't really seem bothered by this weight over him. "I thought Iwaizumi was your best friend, you're gonna make him jealous."

"Matsun, don't be silly. Obviously, Iwa-chan is my best friend; he's my soulmate. I'm talking about non-soulmate best friends. And he's not jealous. Shū is his best friend too."

"Funny. I didn't think you'd be one to share." Makki said, apparently recovered from the declaration of his replacement.

"Somehow I don't think it counts as sharing when it comes to Shū-chan. I think maybe she's sharing us."

"You know I'm sitting right here." She deadpanned and they laughed.

"Speaking of sharing. Are you gonna turn this studying thing into an open invitation type deal? Because the princess here got a higher grade than I did in the last mock exam and that's just not acceptable." They all ignored Oikawa's protests at Hanamaki calling him a princess and Shū shrugged.

"I don't mind. I don't have a good place to facilitate though so we'll have to use the library or something."

And they did. Somehow, Shū fit seamlessly into their lives. The boys sometimes talked about how it felt that she had always been there. She fit in with Tooru and Hajime but also with their friends, and even with their busy time schedules. She became one of those pieces in life that seemed permanent, like that old chair that everyone seems to have in their living room that no one can quite remember how or when it got there, but the room wouldn't be complete if it was gone.

 

-

 

"Hey, Shū-chan."

Shū glanced over her notes to where Oikawa was spread over half the table, Iwaizumi had simply moved his textbook onto the other's back and continued to work. The brown-eyed boy looked up at her, his face drawn into an expression of boredom but his eyes were too sharp, his focus was too steady for her to trust his uninterested tone. She instantly went tense under that gaze.

"What?"

"Why don't you go by your name?"

Shū peered over the rim of her glasses at him and waited a second for Iwaizumi to tell him to mind his own business, but when the muscular boy didn't do anything but lift an inquisitive eyebrow she resigned herself to telling them this.

"I already told you that I just don't like my name."

"But why? Shiori is a pretty name."

The scowl came to her face before she could control it. Oikawa sat up, forcing Iwaizumi to pull the textbook off of his partner to allow the movement. By the time he was sitting properly she had schooled her face back into a neutral expression and prepared herself to explain.

"Okay. I guess... I don't really like going by my family name because it feels like people judge you based on who your parents are, you know? And I'd rather be judged by who I am as a person. And I don't go by Shiori because, I don't know. Shiori is a fine name, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's just not me. I've never really thought of myself as 'Shiori'. And I guess... It seems silly now, but when I was an elementary school kid, the other kids would shorten my name to Shi-chan. Kids can be really mean, and since when they shortened my name like that, it meant 'death' well... You can imagine that that didn't really make me very popular. It wasn't the first time that I thought my name didn't seem right to me, but it was the first time I thought that I should change my name. So I did." Shū gave an exaggerated shrug and looked down at her homework again. "Shū suits me better anyway."

The boys were silent for a long moment, and though she didn't raise her eyes, she could practically feel them exchanging a look.

Finally, Iwaizumi let out a huff of air. "It does suit you."

Oikawa quickly picked up on the change of mood and threw himself back across the table. "I can't believe they called you Shi! Why are kids so mean!" He said the words with a pouty whine and Shū found herself laughing at him softly.

 

-

 

So slowly, ever so slowly, she started to let them into her life. A piece at a time, carefully given away to see if they would abuse the knowledge that they came to know about her. The more they got closer to her, the more she wanted them to be there.

And almost a year passed this way, the year passed by in a pleasant blur. The jokes about her being their best friend became a statement instead of a joke. Shū kept her arms covered and believed that she could be happy this way, being this close and this involved without ever stepping over the lines drawn on all three of their arms.

Life was good. It was almost perfect. Then she was only weeks away from turning 18 and the world seemed to take that as a cue to change.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way- Prepare for pain next chapter! I apologize in advance.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soulmarks- Hajime is bold. Tooru is Bold & Italics. Shu is Italics.

_So slowly, ever so slowly, she started to let them into her life. A piece at a time, carefully given away to see if they would abuse the knowledge that they came to know about her. The more they got closer to her, the more she wanted them to be there._

_And almost a year passed this way, the year passed by in a pleasant blur. The jokes about her being their best friend became a statement instead of a joke. Shū kept her arms covered and believed that she could be happy this way, being this close and this involved without ever stepping over the lines drawn on all three of their arms._

_Life was good. It was almost perfect. Then she was only weeks away from turning 18 and the world seemed to take that as a cue to change._

 

-

 

The college student who worked late shifts at the café with Shū was glaring at the clock like she could make it go faster. "I swear, if one more drunken idiot walks in when we have less than 15 minutes left before closing, I'm going to lose it."

Shū chuckled at her friend and kept cleaning the tables. Sure enough, a minute later the bell rang as someone entered.

Mari muttered something under her breath that was probably "Oh, for fucks sake!" And then turned to the customer but Shū didn't look up from her task.

"Hello, sir! What can I get you today?" A long pause came though Shū didn't look up until her friend continued speaking. "Sir, are you okay?"

Shū's eyes fell on the customer and her heart stopped.

Unmoving in the doorway stood her father. Behind him in the street, a couple of his drinking buddies were singing and trying to hail a taxi. Dark eyes stared at her and got darker as his scowl deepened. Mari seemed realize the way his gaze was fixed on Shū because she stepped in between the two of them.

"Sir. We are closed. You need to leave." Her usual perky voice was gone and in it's wake was a demanding and unrelenting focus. Shū's dad growled at them, casting a look at Shū that promised something very bad would be waiting for her for later. And then he was gone.

Mari shut and locked the door behind him.

"What the hell was that? Are you okay? Do you know that guy?" Shū tried to release the breath she'd been holding and she just shook her head. "That was really weird. Do you want me to call you a taxi to take you home? I don't think it's a good idea for you to walk after something like that. Or can you call someone to walk you back?"

"I'm okay. It's fine. Let's finish our tasks and get out of here."

 

Shū stood in front of her house, the keys hung limply in her hand. The lights were on. The lights were never on after he came home from drinking. There was no way that she could just walk in. The back of her head warned her not to even consider going in. She'd stopped at the store and bought her dad's favorite beer and snacks, the expensive ones that always put him in a better mood. But in the glow of the house lights that were never on, that bag of trinkets seemed far too little an offering.

She turned and headed for the side of the house, hoping that she'd be able to silently make it into her window and maybe her dad would sleep it off. She made it with one foot inside the window when a rough hand hauled her the rest of the way in.

"Who the fuck do you think you are you little fucking brat?" The hand released her and she stumbled, smashing her shin against the low table in the middle of her room. She turned defensively, everything in her screaming to not turn her back on the man. Yuiji Sakomoto was not a particularly large man, but in that moment- he loomed over her. His eyes were dark, but they held a clarity she wasn't used to seeing in his eyes that were normally blurry from too many drinks. "You thought you could start working and not tell me? Where's the money?"

Shū opened her mouth to protest, but was cut off as she had to duck out of the way of a fist swinging in her direction lazily. Yuiji let out a low growl.

"How long? How long have you been lying to me, you bitch?"

"It hasn't been long. I'm just temporarily helping out!" The lie she had prepared came out, but there was too much panic in her voice.

"You think I'd believe that? That money is mine. Every damn cent that you earned, it belongs to me now. I've given you everything you have. I even let you attend that fucking school. Don't think you can go get a job without having to pay me back for your entire fucking life." Shū's tongue had turned to ash, she couldn't agree or disagree, she could only focus on breathing. A rough hand snaked out and grabbed her wrist.

"You know my boss threw his daughter a party tonight to celebrate her meeting her soulmate. I'll bet you'd just love that, wouldn't you? To get some reward for being a soulmate slut."

"Let go." Her protests only made his grip tighten, and she could feel it start to bruise.

"Show me your arms." The demand made her blood run cold and she tried to pull away.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Let me see."

"Why?"

"What? You've got more to hide from me?" He sneered, yanking her arm up over her head painfully. "Show me!" She could do nothing as he ripped her sleeve down. His eyes drank in every inch of the ink-covered skin.

"Let go." The words were too quiet, only a breathless whisper.

"Boss was ecstatic at the thought of having grandchildren. But your soulmates are probably female anyway, just like your mother, that useless bitch."

"Stop." He'd never spoken about her mother, not once since she'd left, no matter how much he'd had to drink, he never brought her up, and the mention of her practically screamed _DANGER!_

"Though I know exactly what they are like. Anyone who needs more than one soulmate is a dumb whore anyway."

"Don't talk about them that way!" Shū  had finally found her voice and instantly wished that she hadn't.

His fist came at her just slow enough that she could turn her face away, his knuckles glanced off her cheekbone, the blow stung but not enough to distract from his next words.

"You bitch! You met them, didn't you?"

Fear turned her eyes wide. "No!"

"Don't lie to me!" This time she was able to get her free arm up between them to take the weight of the punch. Beneath her father's fingers her skin started to tingle as words started dancing across her skin in two sets of panicked words. She didn't get to read to the words as her father noticed the ink.

"Oh, look," He sneered with a laugh that sent a shudder down her spine. "They're worried about you."

"Please. I don't know them. I've never written them. I don't even look at my arms. Don't do this. They don't even know that I exist!"

Her protests fell on deaf ears. He apparently had said all he was going to and he clenched his jaw shut as he let go of her wrist in favor of raising both of his fists. She fell backwards out of his grip but only managed to put her arms up to protect her face. There was nothing she could do but squeeze her eyes shut and wait for it to stop.

 

 

 

 

 

Hajime was sitting at home when the pain started. A sharp pain went through his shin and he almost started chuckling, picturing the way Tooru was probably rolling around cursing whatever he'd hit his shin on. It wasn't unusual that things like that happened with the Soulmarks. It wasn't until a few minutes later that he started to get concerned. He glanced down at the offending wrist, confusion turning to alarm as he watched the red marks turn purple and take on the distinctive shape of a handprint. He'd left Tooru at his house not even half an hour ago and couldn't imagine what in that time Tooru might have gotten into to cause this. His phone was dialing before he'd even realized he'd grabbed it.

 

 

Tooru was in the shower when his shin started aching, after the brief pain passed he made a mental note to tease Iwa-chan about being clumsy enough to trip over something like that. But then, his wrist started to sting. By the time the third mark appeared he was flying out of the bathroom in hastily thrown on clothes. He looked around frantically for his phone but couldn't remember where it was or think clearly enough to find it. The rapidly multiplying bruises were too important to ignore or try to think of anything else. He grabbed the nearest marker and scribbled the only thing his panicked mind could think of.

**_HAJIME_ **

**where are you?**

**_Home but wha_** He didn't get to finish writing his question before Hajime was writing his reply.

**I'm coming to you**

Small flashes of pain accompanied the rapidly multiplying purple marks on his arms and ribs.

Another eruption of pain seared through his fingers, making him nearly scream. He cradled his fingers close to his chest as he made a decision. He couldn't just wait here. He raced to the front door and took off down the sidewalk, nearly falling as he went down the stairs. The door was left wide open behind him, shoes forgotten in the entryway.

 

The two boys met halfway between their houses. They were both moving at a sprint and nearly ran each other right over as they crashed into each other.

They grabbed each other's shoulders, asking a million concerned questions over top of each other, looking around for danger and seeing nothing. Hajime gained control of his panic first, finally taking stock of the two of them. Neither of them were wearing shoes, Tooru's hair was dripping down his back through the t-shirt. The bruises on his arms looked identical to Hajime's, not as severe as they would be if he had gained the originals. Tooru seemed to catch up then, his intelligent eyes taking in all of the information Hajime had just noticed.

"What hap-" Tooru's question changed to a yell as both boys grabbed at their shoulder-blades. The pain stole the breath from their lungs and dropped them to their knees. Tooru looked up at Hajime through tear-filled eyes as the pain receded in only a few seconds. They stared at each other silently as they realized exactly what was happening. Tooru was the first to speak.

"We have another soulmate?"

Hajime nodded. "And they are in trouble. What do we do?"

Tooru scooped up the pen he hadn't realized he'd still been holding as he'd run out the house.

 ** _Where are you?_** He wrote in big letters. Hajime reached out for the pen and added his own note.

**We'll come get you and make sure you're safe. Just tell us where you are.**

No reply came but the bruises stopped appearing as frequently.

 ** _Please_** _._ Tooru added to their previous message.

They waited for a long minute, both boys antsy with worry. Several bad bruises laced across their ribs and then there was a nasty pain in their heads, and they both had to hold on to each other to try to stay upright, fighting off the dizziness. After that, the bruises stopped appearing. Hajime chewed on his lower lip and Tooru had started pacing. Suddenly Tooru stopped, he turned to Hajime with eyes blown wide and his hands started shaking.

"Tha-that last blow was bad. Do... do you think..?"

He didn't finish his question. He didn't have to. Hajime cursed and flipped open his phone.

"Who are you calling?"

"Shū. She knows more about soulmates and injuries than anyone I know." He cursed again when the call didn't go through. He looked again at his soulmate who was trembling and had tears in his eyes. Hajime noticed again Tooru's dripping hair and the cold night air whipping past them. He placed a hand gently around his soulmate's shoulders.

"Come on." He said gently and steered Tooru back towards his own house. "We can't do anything until we get a reply. Let's at least wait inside."

 

-

 

The world came slowly back into focus. It was dark, the house was painfully quiet, and there was the light metallic scent of blood nearby. Shū tried to be very still as she determined what had happened. She wasn't sure when she had passed out, but she waited long minutes to hear any telltale signs of movement in the other rooms.  There was no clink of beer bottles, no angry muttering and no loud snores. When she was sure that her father wasn't in the house she slowly tried to sit up. She put her weight on her hand only to fall back to the floor, biting back a scream. Pain laced along her shoulder-blade and back. She remembered him grabbing her by the hair and shoving her backwards. She must have hit the corner of the desk.

Several deep breaths later she forced her eyes open again. Her fingers on one hand were swollen and purple, but she could move them enough that she knew they weren't broken. Slowly she dragged her eyes up from her fingers to the bold writing on her forearm.

Tears slid down her cheeks as she read over the words, finally settling on the last message.

**Please just let us know that you're okay.**

A sob erupted from her chest and she silenced it with the press of swollen fingers over her mouth. She couldn't bring herself to move but she glanced around almost frantically until she saw that some of her pens had fallen off the desk when she'd been thrown into it. She grabbed one and with shaking fingers wrote to her soulmates for the first time.

-

_I'm sorry._

The words were obviously written by a shaking hand, but they were there and that's all that mattered at the moment.

"Thank god." Tooru whispered as he leaned over his wrist to look at the words. The words were written just inside the wrist, under the thumb, they were small but they were there. Hajime wrote a reply right below where they had written.

**Thank god you're okay. Tell us where you are, we'll come get you.**

A long moment passed and then their soulmate wrote back, not a reply, but outlining the words they had written before.

_I'm sorry._

Tooru and Hajime exchanged a glance full of concern. Tooru took the pen from Hajime and wrote his next words carefully.

**_We'll take care of you._ **

_I'm sorry._

**_Can you tell us your name?_ **

_I'm sorry._

**_Whatever is going on we can figure it out together, if you let us. We are soulmates after all._ **

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._

Their soulmate wrote over the words a dozen times until they started to smear. Both boys stared at the growing mess in dismay.

Hajime stood up, pulling out his phone as he moved to the door.

"I'm going to see Shū. See if she can tell us how bad these injuries are at least. I don't know what else to do."

Tooru nodded, though he was distracted. "I'll wait here, maybe there's something I can say that will help."

-

Shū managed to stop crying, finally. The words on her wrist were smeared and there was ink on her opposite hand now too. She took a deep breath and pushed herself onto her stomach and then up on her knees. Her shoulder ached badly, but not enough to ignore the other dozens of bruises on her arms and over her ribs. Nothing seemed broken and at least she'd managed to protect her face from all but the one small hit. When she finally got to her feet she was hit with a wave of dizziness which led her to find a large bump and an accompanying cut along the side of her head. She wasn't bleeding anymore, so it hadn't been too deep, so she ignored the blood matted in her hair for now.

As she was deciding to find some bandages, she caught sight of her phone as it lit up.

When she saw who was calling, her heart skipped a beat. She tried to beat back the sudden alarm with logic- they didn't know that their soulmate was her, and they had no reason to suspect that. Though a small piece of her wondered if it would be so bad if they did know, but she buried that piece of herself and answered the call.

"Hello?" She winced at the way her own voice sounded so weak and raw.

"Shū! Thank god. I've been trying to reach you for forever. I need to talk to you." Iwaizumi sounded desperate. His voice was breathy like he'd been running.

"... Okay."

"Listen. Tooru and I... have another soulmate."

He paused and she wasn't sure what she was supposed to say. _I know._

 _"_ Oh." She said instead.

"And they're hurt. I'm coming over to you, I need you to look at these bruises and tell me how badly our soulmate is hurt."

All she had to do was open the door and he'd see how badly she was hurt. And she wanted to. She wanted him to know, she wanted them to take her away from here. She wanted _them_. Then the image of Hajime standing in front of her house when her dad came home flashed in her mind.

"You can't!" A silence stretched between the two and she berated herself for the outburst. "I'm not..."

She couldn't say 'not feeling well'; that wouldn't stop him.

"... Home. I'm not even in town." That would keep him away for a couple days and then she could pretend that everything was fine. "I'll be back..." today was Friday but she couldn't afford to take much time off of school. "Tuesday. Or Monday."

"Oh. Okay."

"I'll come over as soon as I can. Do you..." She wanted to talk to him about it, hear what they had to say, but she didn't know when her dad would get home. "I can't really talk right now. But I want to hear it all in a few days... Are you and Oikawa okay?"

He sighed. "We're shaken up, honestly. The fact that..." He sighed again and she could almost hear him shake his head. "It's a lot to take in. And we're worried about our soulmate. Really worried. But we'll be okay."

He didn't sound so sure though. Shū tightened her grip on the phone. "You _will_ be okay. You have each other, right?"

"Yeah. Of course. I'll talk to you in a few days."

"Okay."

"Bye."

 

-

 

Shū stood at the front walkway to Iwaizumi's house, she'd gone by Oikawa's first but  the light in his room was off. She looked down at the too big sweater down to her bandaged fingers. It was the only wound she hadn't been able to hide, but if they asked she would just try to dismiss it. They might figure it out anyway. She knew she looked about as terrible as she felt, her large hoodie engulfed her, her hair that was usually pinned up fell loosely around her face, it shadowed the makeup she'd put on her one cheek. She never thought she'd be grateful for the scientists who had figured out that with certain minerals present, makeup wouldn't appear on their soulmates skin.

A hat sat on her head, it pressed uncomfortably to the wound on her temple but hid it completely.

For a brief moment she considered turning around and maybe never talking to the two boys again. For a longer moment she considered telling them the truth, she pictured them taking her out of her dad's house, being there when the nightmares woke her. They'd probably insist on helping her pay for college. Hajime would probably get into a fight with her dad, he'd be suspended for sure, and maybe not graduate. The boys would have to tell their parents about her, and the thought made her fingers start shaking again. All she knew right now was that she couldn't tell them, not until graduation at least.

Before her mind could try to convince herself to walk away she pulled her sleeve over her fingers some more and then rang the bell.

The large man who opened the door would have been intimidating if he didn't look just like Iwaizumi, with all the familiar stern features just lacking his striking green eyes.

"I'm a friend of Hajime's. Sakomoto Shiori. Is Hajime here?" She bowed at the waist when she introduced herself. The three of them spent so much time together but it was usually in cafe's and libraries and Oikawa's. It was almost surprising that she hadn't met Iwaizumi's parents yet.

The large man grunted and left her standing there, he didn't invite her in but the door was left slightly ajar so she merely waited. It didn't take long before footsteps thudded down the stairs and the door was yanked fully open.

"Hey. Sorry to come by so late."

Both Iwaizumi and Oikawa stood in the doorway but it was Oikawa who spoke first. He turned to Iwaizumi's dad and whined.

"Da~ad! I can't believe you left Shū-chan standing out in the cold!"

Both male Iwaizumi's made the same noncommittal grunt as Hajime gestured for Shū to come inside.

"Pardon the intrusion." She said gently and took off her shoes.

"We're going up to my room." Iwaizumi informed his dad.

"I'll make some tea!" Oikawa chimed happily, swinging his arms like a little kid as he went to the kitchen. Their progress to the stairs was interrupted by a new voice.

"Did I hear we have a guest?" A pretty woman popped out of the kitchen. She was beautiful, with dark hair pulled back to reveal a delicate face. Even though glasses hid them slightly, there was no denying that her eyes were her best feature. The green in them flashed beneath the hall lights, lighting them even brighter than Iwaizumi's, if that were possible. When she smiled broadly, little dimples appeared on her cheeks revealing where Iwaizumi got that rare smile of his.

With the two parents staring at her, she felt the sudden urge to hide back within her sweatshirt and behind her cascade of hair. But her stubbornness won out, straightening her spine and painting a smile on her face.

"Hi! I'm sorry to come over so late."

"It's no trouble, dear." The woman waved her hand dismissively and leaned into her husband's side. "So do you go to school with our boys?"

 _Our boys_ she had said. Oikawa was still off in the kitchen, apparently having free rein of his soulmates house. It was nice. The pleasantness of seeing parents accepting soulmates was a surprising, warm feeling that spread up to Shū's face, pushing her lips out of the fake smile into a soft, genuine one.

"Yeah. We're in the same year. Hajime saved me from accidentally stepping into traffic once, and we've all been friends ever since. And we study together often."

"Oh! So that must make you the girl who made them all those bentos last year."

Shū laughed to hide her embarrassment. "Yeah, that was me."

"Well it is nice to finally meet you, dear."

"Thank you. It's an honor to meet parents who would raise their son in such a way that he wouldn't hesitate to come to a stranger's rescue." Shū bowed slightly and Hajime's mom giggled while his dad puffed out his chest proudly.

"Oh my." The woman said, looking at her son who was turning red in the face. Even his ears looked slightly pink. He grumbled at his parents laughter and then steered Shū towards the stairs.

"We have something important to talk to Shū about so we'll be up in my room."

"Sure, dear." She waved. "Oh,  but Shū-chan, you're welcome here anytime, alright?"

The offer took her by surprise and she turned to bow to them. "Thank you very much, Iwaizumi-san." When she looked up both parents had gentle smiles on their faces and she couldn't help but stare until Hajime pulled on her sleeve and they moved up the stairs.

 Iwaizumi's room was exactly what Shū pictured any teenage boy's room was. There was a bed which was slightly larger than average, a desk, a dresser and a study table was set up in the middle of the floor. There was a small pile of clothes on the floor by the closet, though she found it a bit endearing that his school and volleyball uniforms were hanging perfectly on hooks by the door. There were several posters on the wall, mostly volleyball related and one vintage Godzilla poster which was beside a ridiculous alien poster that she could almost guarantee was actually Oikawa's. Amidst the posters were some pictures, some of volleyball club, some with his family, but most were of Oikawa, or Oikawa and him.  The pictures together ranged from recent ridiculous selfies down to a childhood picture of them on a playground, Hajime was all scraped knees and band-aids, his face obviously trying not to smile and Tooru wore a gap-toothed smile and a tiny hand thrown around Hajime's shoulders.

Shū touched the corner of the picture, a gentle smile on her face.

"I didn't realize you'd known each other for so long."

"Yeah." His voice was softer than she'd ever heard it.

"Doesn't look like much has changed. He was smaller than you though."

"Yeah."

Finally she tore her eyes from the picture and took a seat at the low table. Iwaizumi sat next to her along the other edge of the table so the corner was separating them. She waited for Iwaizumi to tell her about the incident but he seemed to be waiting for Oikawa.

"So... you were gone this weekend? How did everything go?"

"Ah. Worst weekend of my life,  honestly. And that's including when my mom left." The honest words were out of her mouth before she'd even thought them. A sigh exited her as she squeezed the bridge of her nose.

"I-I'm sorry?" He almost choked on the words because he was so startled by her admission.

"It's fine. I'm just... It's been a long couple days. But I'm sure that that's true for you two as well."

"Yeah."

"Have you told anyone else?"

He shook his head and she breathed out a small sigh of relief.

They waited in silence until Oikawa came in with tea and three slices of cake. His earlier show of cheerfulness was gone and he sat down next to Iwaizumi wordlessly. Once the tea was poured Shū looked at them with all the confidence she didn't feel.

"Okay. You said something about injuries, right? Let's take a look first and then you can tell me all about it."

Both boys stood and took off their shirts. She hadn't noticed earlier but they'd both been wearing long sleeves, probably to hide the numerous purple marks along their skin. She took a moment to let her eyes roam all over the injuries. It looked worse on Tooru, his pale skin highlighting the bruises. A sick feeling slithered down her spine and curled in her gut. She had caused this. Her soulmates were in pain because of her.

"Fuck." She whispered and they both nodded grimly. "Which injuries are the worst?"

"Hand and the shoulder." They both turned to show her the black mark covering nearly a quarter of their backs. She hissed slightly. She hadn't been able to see the mark on herself but if the muted version that they were sporting was any indication, she was lucky she could move her arm at all.

She rose to her feet and reached out to touch the mark. Iwaizumi didn't flinch when her fingers brushed against it, so that was a good sign.

"I'm going to press down now. Please tell me when it starts to hurt." She pressed lightly over the edges of the bruise, making her way inward until he flinched and pulled away from her. She let go and moved to Oikawa, she didn't press in the same spots but went up over his shoulder, pressing at the front and then down the back of the joint.

"The good news is that it wasn't dislocated. I thought maybe it would be and I'd be able to see bruising on Oikawa's paler skin." Shū moved her hands down to Oikawa's ribs. A large bruise decorated part of his chest and she pressed down over the ribs. "It's not deep enough to indicate that there are any broken ribs either."

"What happened to your fingers?" Oikawa said suddenly and Iwaizumi started, turning to see the wrappings on her fingers. She'd wrapped each individually, and all four of them, even though what the injury really needed was to bind the last three fingers together so that the last two couldn't bend.

"I jammed them really good yesterday. They probably don't need to be wrapped today either but I'm a wimp that way." None of what she said was true, but both boys seemed to relax and accept her answer easily enough. She took a long minute to exam their fingers, looking over both boys' hands.

"It's hard to tell, but I don't think that they're broken. Definitely sprained. If the joints had been dislocated it would hurt to bend them, if it was broken it would hurt more in a specific spot. I'm officially diagnosing it as a sprain." She joked, but the lightness didn't carry very far.

The boys slipped their shirts back on and a heavy silence settled over the room as they all sat back down. They finally told her about their experience, and she listened closely to their reactions, not speaking at all until they were done.

"Has anything like this ever happened before?"

They both shook their heads vigorously, Oikawa pulled his knees up to his chest.

"I mean...  When I think about it, maybe there were small bruises or something that we never noticed, but there are two of us, we both play sports, we were fairly reckless when we were kids... we didn't know."

"We didn't know at all."

"So, now that you know. What do you want to do about it?"

Oikawa squeaked and Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows but neither answered the question.

"Okay. Let me ask something else. Do you two want another soulmate? You have each other and you've been happy up until now, right? So are you actually interested in pursuing this?"

They stared at her and then at each other for a long time before Oikawa nodded and Iwaizumi answered, his words slow and carefully chosen.

"Yeah. I mean, we're soulmates for a reason. It means we're not really complete without our third person, right? Whether they want it to be a romantic or a platonic thing is up to them but... yeah."

"Definitely." Oikawa chimed in,  but he tucked his knees closer to himself. "I'm just worried that they don't want us."

"That's not true." She said fiercely, desperately, but tried to force the emotion out of her voice. "If anything, this incident proves that there are things about the situation that are... unusual. But I don't think that there is anyone out there that doesn't long to be with their soulmates."

"Do you think... that what happened was... because of us?"

"No!  Oikawa, no! Look at me, both of you. You don't know what happened. It could have been a one time thing, like a mugging or something. But no matter what the situation was, the only person to blame is the person that hurt your soulmate. Okay?" She took a deep breath and continued carefully. "That being said, there are lots of people that are very traditional and don't believe in multiple soulmates. Even though it's now legal to even marry two or three other people if they are your soulmates, the majority of people, especially the older generation, frown upon stuff like that. And I think that you should be very careful who you tell about this. Do your parents know?"

"They won't care." Iwaizumi said confidently.

"Mine won't either. I'm sure they'll say something about how I am so high maintenance that I need two people to look after me." The boys smiled and Shū looked at them carefully.

"Okay. If you're sure. But maybe don't tell people about all of the injuries. You can't do anything about it until your soulmate reaches out to you."

"How can we make them do that?"

"You can't _make_ your soulmate do anything, especially when they've been hiding this long. But you can be encouraging. Don't stop using your arms to talk to each other, either. If they wanted you to do so that they would have said so. And then, just believe that they'll come to you when they're ready."

"You think they will?" Oikawa asked, his voice quiet and hopeful. Shū didn't even hesitate to answer.

"I do."

"Thanks for talking to us about this. You're the only person we know that has an... unusual situation when it comes to soulmates." Iwaizumi said the words gently.

She pulled her sleeves down over her hands some more but chanced saying one more thing.

"You two are my best friends. I'll always be here for you."

Oikawa slapped his hand over his face but did nothing to hide his teasing smile, which Iwaizumi's face echoed.

"You do have feelings!"

"Oh, shut up."

"Come on, come on, tell us you love us."

"I love you." She deadpanned the words before cracking a smile and they both broke out into wide grins. They didn't have to know just how true that statement was.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, more pain.

Life became a countdown. 5 months left until graduation and she could get out of here. She became an expert at blocking the lazy hits her dad would throw her way whenever she was within his arms reach. She'd learned long ago to hold her arms up to cover her face so that her forearms faced out, arms parallel to the ground. The odd defensive posture made it so that her soulmates could dismiss the bruises as being from their volleyball practice. And now, she held her arms that way and could only hope that it was enough that her soulmates wouldn't notice. That first night her dad had really beat her, he'd threatened her to give him the money from her job but he never mentioned it again. She didn't stop working, in fact she started taking on more and more shifts, and would have neglected the time to study if it wasn't just as important as the money. _Get a scholarship, use the money I've saved, and get the hell out._ It became a mantra that she repeated to herself over and over. In the very limited remaining time in her days, she signed herself up for a kick-boxing class. There was no point in avoiding getting bruised now that her soulmates knew about her, and she liked feeling not quite so helpless, though it sucked having to reassure the boys that their soulmate would be okay whenever new bruises appeared on their skin.

Her life had changed that day, not just the way her dad tried to hit her every time he saw her, not just the extra shifts, but the little things had changed. Her brain refused to keep calling the boys by their surnames, and she figured it was alright as long as she kept the formality on her lips. The small half-truths she'd been telling her soulmates became full on lies. And during the nights she started letting herself glance down at her arms. The boys hadn't stopped writing to each other, but every day, there would be a small message for her.

**_Hope you're doing well today._ **

**We're here for you.**

**_Good morning, soulmate._ **

Tonight it was, **Can you tell us your name so we don't have to keep calling you 'soulmate'?**

For some reason, it was the first one she was ready to reply to. In person she had been reassuring and encouraging them that their soulmate would be okay and would respond and to just be gentle and patient, that their soulmate would answer them eventually.

It was a Saturday and her dad was out drinking tonight, so maybe she could give them a few of those answers.

She took a soulmate marker that she'd borrowed from Yuki and a soapy rag so she could wash off the words instantly if she needed to. The clock flashed 12:28

 _Maybe they won't be up._ She smiled at the thought because she knew they would be. They would most likely be draped over each other as they watched some ridiculous movie for the hundredth time. Finally she worked up the courage and dragged the marker over her skin.

_I can't tell you my name. Would a nickname be okay?_

She bit her lip and waited, but didn't have to wait long.

**_Yes!_ **

**Yes!**

_Chikara._ She settled on the name for several reasons, because it was a short kanji that was easy to write, but mostly because it was the kanji for strength and she wanted them to know that that's how she thought of herself. Maybe they would take it as a sign that she was okay.

**It's nice to meet you _._**

**_Veeeery nice. ~_** (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ

She smiled at Tooru's dumb way of drawing out the words and his dumb excited emoji he drew afterwards.

 _I can't talk for long, okay? I just_ She paused as she tried to get the right words. _I wanted you to know that I'm okay. I want you to know that I see your messages and how much they mean to me._

She had to flip her arm over awkwardly to continue writing.

 _I might not be able to write to you again for a while. But... after all this time I just wanted you to know that... I am here._ Barely stopping herself from writing the words "and I love you"

**Thank you.**

**_We're here too._ **

**We always will be.**

At this point they'd effectively run out of room on the left arm. The boys switched over fairly easily, most people were at least partially ambidextrous because of the soulmate thing, but she knew her own words would be shaky and awkward because she'd never even tried writing with her left hand.

**_You said you don't have long, but can you keep talking for a bit?_ **

Part of her thought she should say no, but now that she'd indulged herself in talking to them, she couldn't deny herself this short conversation.

 _Yes. How was volleyball?_ She couldn't really answer any personal questions that they had about her so she lead the conversation.

**_How did you know???_ **

_You've marked about it. And..._

Writing with her left hand was hard so she switched back to her right and scribbled on the back of her left hand.

_It's hard to write this way, I'm going to erase this, okay?_

**_One second!_** Came the request before an agreement came a moment later. He must be taking a picture of his arm, she realized. When they both said it was okay, she wiped off the words and started writing where she'd left off a minute ago.

... _The volleyball bruises. I played once my first year and figured it out._

**_You played too! That's great~!_ **

_Sports day._

**_What scho_** The words cut off and then Hajime was writing below it.

**You probably don't want to tell us any personal info right now. That's okay. Can you tell us what year you are?**

_Third. You guys are too, right?_

**_Yeah!_ **

**Yes.**

_How long have you known each other?_

**Since we were seven.**

**_Childhood friieeends~_ **

_That's great._

_What can I call you both? I know it's unfair because I didn't give you my name, but I kind of already know yours._

**You know ours?**

_You're Iwa-chan. Hajime, right?_

**Yeah.**

**_What about me?~_** **ヽ** **(^o^)** **丿**

His eager-faced emoji teased her and she smiled as she slowly wrote out the next word.

_.... Shittykawa?_

**_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!_** ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ

Hajime even scrawled out what had to be laughter while Tooru was freaking out.

**_THAT'S SO MEAN, CHIKARA!!!!_ **

**_YOU TOO, IWA-CHAN!!_ **

He continued to write his protests in big looping letters across their right arms.

 _Tooru._ She wrote the word small and hoped that he understood that she was saying it gently. His writings stopped in an instant.

_I don't know your family name though. Is it okay for me to call you by your first names, or would you like me to call you something else?_

**_First names are fine._ **

**More than fine.**

She smiled that it was Hajime who was being...

**_Iwa-chan is such a sap._ **

**Am not!**

**_Are too!_ **

_I think so too._ She put the words in just because she could. For a moment she let herself believe that this is what it could have been like all these years, what it could be like. They probably had more to say but the front door suddenly opened with a bang.

It shocked her and she jumped, the marker leaving an abrupt line across her skin. Then she grabbed the cloth and wiped out the words on her arms quickly and probably too forcefully since it stung and left the skin too red from the contact. She pulled down her sleeves, shoved the pen in her pillowcase, slammed off the light and pretended to be asleep.

Fear made sweat trickle uncomfortably down her spine, but the drunken footsteps stumbled past her door and down the hallway, followed by a creak and the sound of him flopping down on his bed. It took a few moments for her breathing to return to normal, but eventually it did. Though she could feel the tingle that indicated that they were still writing, probably worried at the way she'd left things off, but she didn't dare to look down at her arms again.

She hoped that someday she would no longer be afraid then she could finally be able to face them for real.

-

(Months later)

 

Hajime was cursing out everyone he could think of to keep himself motivated enough to keep pounding on the keys of his laptop. Admittedly it was probably his own fault for forgetting about this essay until the night before, but that didn't make the pounding behind his eyes go away, and it didn't lessen the urge to call his teacher some very creative slurs in his head. He'd just come up with a brand new insult when his phone rang and he jumped so hard he smacked his knee into his desk.

 **2:14 Incoming call: The Great Shū~** ヽ( ￣∀￣)ﾉ

Hajime frowned, it wasn't like her to call so late.

"Hello?" Silence stretched on and Hajime started to wonder if it had been an accidental call. "Shū?" Hajime was just about to hang up when he suddenly heard a siren sounding on the other end of the phone before the line cut off abruptly. Hajime stared at the phone in confusion. _What the hell does that mean?_  The sound of the sirens seemed to echo in his head until he realized that it wasn't in his head at all; it was outside his window. He bolted up and rushed over to the window as the ambulance passed.

It was too dark outside, especially with the rain obscuring the view, but he ran his eyes along the length of the street until he finally made up her form near the end of the street. Shū stood there in the dark, her clothes and hair dripping from the rain, her school uniform clutched to her chest. As he watched, she opened her phone and it lit up her face, Hajime was too far away to make out her expression, but he realized then that she was wearing her pajamas. After a few seconds she closed her phone, before pulling it out again. The next time the light turned off, Hajime reached for his own phone, but before he could call her, she took a couple steps towards his house before suddenly stopping. She put her phone back in her pocket and turned around, hurrying to the end of the street where she hesitated. Hajime's eyes ached from straining to catch sight of her in the darkness, but he watched as she hesitantly turned left.

Hajime waited a few more seconds to see if she would reappear around the corner, but when she didn't he picked up his phone and dialed a familiar number. Hajime had watched her leave from that window often enough to know that if she was going home she would have turned right; right was the way to the station and she could have taken a train home or even to the school from there. But as far as Hajime knew, the only thing that really lay in the direction she had gone was Oikawa's house.

Hajime pulled on a pair of socks as he waited for the phone to connect. After the fourth ring, it finally did.

"Wha-" Oikawa let out a tired croak into the phone.

"Shū is on her way to your house."

"What?" He asked, more clearly this time. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. She was here, she called me but didn't say anything, she left without knocking on the door but I saw her out the window. She turned towards your place."

"That doesn't-"

"I know. But she was in her pajamas and had her school uniform with her."

There was the sounds of Oikawa getting up.

"Okay. I'm up." Normally Hajime was annoyed or jealous of the other boy's ability to wake up so quickly, but right now he was just grateful for it.

"I'm coming over too. Just in case she chickens out like she did in front of my house. I'll see you soon."

"Okay." The other boy said and they both hung up. Hajime took one last look around his room, only pausing to press 'save' on his essay before writing his parents a note and heading for the door.

-

Shū managed to make her feet get closer to Tooru's than she had to Hajime's for some reason, she made it all the way to the gate outside his house. Rain in her eyes obscured her vision of the house but she could make out some faint lights inside. The bell was out of the question since it was two. _Almost three_ , she corrected herself when she pulled out her phone.

 _This is stupid. Go home._ But her legs wouldn't budge. _Then call him._ She argued with herself in annoyance, hating how her limbs wouldn't obey her, hating everything that had brought her here. The darkened exterior of the house seemed to sneer at her and normally she'd let it taunt her into going home. But that was when _home_ hadn't given her the panic attacks. Five. She'd had five panic attacks since that first one this evening, and was on the verge of another one right now. Maybe she could puke in the street again and finally feel okay enough to head back. But that house still held _him._ Choking on the beginnings of another panic attack she tried to dial her phone. The screen was too wet and her fingers were too cold for her to get it to unlock, and when she went to wipe it on her clothes to dry it she realized that there wasn't an inch of her that was dry. The tears started again then.

"Come on you damn phone, just unlock." She swiped at the screen desperately but it ignored her.

"Shū-chan? What are you doing here?"

The light voice came from the doorway of the house, revealing Tooru in his pajamas, normally perfect hair in a complete mess. There was no way to respond to his question or to stop the sob that escaped her throat. She pressed the back of her wrist into her mouth to try to hold back the sounds but couldn't stop it, especially not when Hajime came running up behind her and gently pulled her towards the warmth of Tooru's front door and the embrace of the two boys.

The three of them stood in the entryway for a bit, Shū doing everything in her power to keep her sobs and hiccups quiet, the mangled half-words that slipped out in between sobs were no explaination at all. Tooru pried her uniform and her phone from her hands and placed them on the bench by the door.

They tried to get her to tell them what was wrong, but it took her a long time just to stop sobbing. Finally she managed a single broken sentence.

"Can- Can I st-stay- stay here to-tonight?"

"Of course you can." The voice was powerful and decidedly feminine. Shū  jerked her head to follow the sound to where Tooru's mom stood near the top of the stairs. The woman practically flew down the steps, chiding the boys for not bringing Shū in, and commenting on how cold and wet the girl was when she wrapped an arm around her. The woman let the girl's protests and apologies fall on deaf ears as she ushered her towards the bathroom.

"You're frozen right to the bone! We'll get you in a hot bath in no time. Tooru, round together some dry pajamas for Shiori-chan. Hajime-kun, I assume you're staying the night too? You can put the futon in Tooru's room for yourself, Shiori-chan will be using the spare room." The demanding but gentle voice carried over the teens, and she all but ignored the sobs that never stopped coming out of the young girl.

Mrs. Oikawa carefully drew the bath and Shū let her push the girl toward the warm water, only hesitating when it came to taking off her clothes. By now, Shū had been around enough that Tooru's mom knew about how she didn't allow others to see her Soulmarks, and that had never bothered the woman until now, and she gave a long second of thought to it before finally assuring the girl that it was alright and quietly leaving the room. When she was sure that the girl was safely tucked into the warm waters of a bath, that was when the woman finally turned to the boys for an explanation that they simply didn't have.

"It's fine for now." She said after hearing the small pieces the boys knew. "I don't think I've ever asked, but what is Shiori's family name?"

"Sakomoto." Tooru replied but he missed the way his mom pressed her lips tighter and hummed a thoughtful response.

"I'll set some calming tea to boil. You both look like you could use a cup too."

"Thanks, mom." The boys were left standing in the hallway, desperately clutching at each others' hands.

-

Shū stared at her feet with an odd fascination as they regained their feeling and then started to ache and burn.  With a hiss she wiggled her toes carefully in the warm water. The bathtub was huge and she let herself slide all the way down until even her head was under the warm water where she stayed for as long as she could until she felt like her lungs would burst. When the world fell completely quiet she couldn't help but consider taking up swimming recreationally (not that she knew how to swim but she'd definitely take it up of it was always this calm.).

The panic that had been lacing through her veins slowed down to a mere trickle but didn't go away completely. Even here, in this giant bathtub, in a house that was full of acceptance, she still didn't feel safe.

Her arms held plenty of marks today and she let her gaze roam across them. Tooru had been late for practice because of his fangirls and Hajime had marked to yell at him. Tooru had written an encouraging note when Hajime had to stay to talk to a teacher. One of the boys, she couldn't tell which one, sometimes drew little curving lines when they were bored, and today that area was quite large near the inside of her right elbow. And there was a message for her, in small writing directly under her left thumb.

**_I'll bet you're amazing. We are excited to meet you someday._ **

She traced the words with her finger. The two must take turns writing out their messages. Today it had been Tooru. He usually left an emoji but today he hadn't, and she found she missed it a little.

She pressed her forearms to her stomach, and since that's where all the writing was today, with her arms turned like that, it was like all the words just disappeared. She turned her wrist slightly to look at her message again, and she was almost overwhelmed at the sudden urge to get out of the bath and walk straight up to them and show them her arms. Instead, she hugged her knees to her chest and sunk deeper into the water. It was still warm, almost too warm judging by the redness of her skin, but she couldn't stop her shaking. Tears threatened at the corners of her eyes but she tried not to over think. She tried not to think at all.

The old habit of biting at her skin returned and she pressed her wrist into her mouth, pressing back the tears and focusing on nothing but the point of contact of her teeth with her skin. She knew that the marks didn't travel over the Soulmarks, but just once, she hoped that they would.

At one point, Tooru entered the other room of the bath and called out to let her know he was leaving clothes there for her.

"Thank you, Tooru-chan." The name slipped off her tongue before she could think about it but if he thought it was strange that she suddenly used his first name, he didn't say anything.

The air was cold when she rose from the bath, she dressed quickly in the clothes Tooru loaned her. The fabric was soft and warm and smelled like him, it was comforting enough that she didn't even scoff at the dumb alien head design. He was so tall and she had to roll the cuffs of the pants so she wouldn't trip, but she let the long sleeves hang over her hands.

When she came out of the bathroom towel-drying her hair, she found the boys in the kitchen. They each were nursing a cup of tea and they were in quiet conversation, which was a relief. She didn't think she could handle silence right now.

"How was the bath?"

"Perfect. Thank you." She sat at the end of the table so she was in between them. "Your mom?"

"She went back upstairs. But she said we could go get her if you wanted?" Shū shook her head and focused on drying her hair.

"Want some tea?"

"Yes." The short, quiet answers weren't like her but she didn't have the energy to pretend and they didn't seem to mind.

As Tooru turned to heat up the tea, Hajime seemed to focus on the fingers she was running through damp hair.

"I could braid it for you."

"What?"

"Your hair. My sister's made me learn how to do it. They said it's a nice feeling to have your hair braided before going to bed." She believed that, her mom used to braid her hair for her but it had been years now since any but her own hands had even touched it.

"Okay." Shū turned on her chair and Hajime stood up behind her. His big, calloused hands ran through the wet strands and she'd flinched from the unfamiliar contact at first. It had been years since anyone had done this for her and she was soon melting into the touch. Somehow she had expected his hands to be rough and clumsy at the task but they weren't at all. They confidently and carefully slid through her hair, tugging just the right amount to pull the strands into place. Without her noticing, her eyes shut and her body completely relaxed, the remnants of the earlier panic attacks drained right out of her under his gentle touches.

"All done." He said all too soon and she opened her eyes to see Tooru watching intently.

"Thank you, Hajime." She said as she reached behind herself and patted at the thick braid. Neither of them had reacted to her calling them by their first names which was a relief because she didn't think she could help that right now. She promised herself that she'd go back to calling them properly tomorrow.

Tooru poured her a cup of tea and she let the warmth travel from both her fingers and her lips until it filled her.

"How was practice?"

The boys seemed to take the cue from her that she wasn't ready to talk about why she was here so they fell into an easy conversation about practice and the team and different things that had happened that day.

Not long after that, Tooru's mom came back down to check on them and to gently direct them to bed.

The spare room was nice, the bed was bigger and softer than any she'd ever slept in. But the moment the silence descended on her, the events that brought her here pulled back at her mind.

A small vanilla scented candle had been lit on the nightstand and Shū tried to focus on the dance of the tiny flame instead of the thoughts in her head. It didn't last very long.

 _"If you want to make money, you should sell your body. I'm sure you'd like that, since you're a slut who can't be content with one soulmate."_ She shuddered at the memory. At the thought of those dark eyes appraising her. Of the serious consideration that went through his expression. Her own thoughts were just as scary.

_If he's serious, and does try to sell me, what would my soulmates think? Would they come get me? Would they even want me?_

Before she knew it she was silently running down the hallway. Tooru's door was shut, there were no lights or sounds coming from inside. The pads of her fingers came up to the wood and tapped lightly. The light contact barely made a sound but a moment later the door hissed open.

Hajime stared down at Shū. She stood slightly hunched over, her arms folded against her stomach, her breaths were coming out too quickly and her eyes were wide and glistening.

"Um." She said, clearly having no idea what to say next.

"Come here." He said softly and held out his arms to her. The gap between them was closed in an instant, she flattened herself against his chest, her hands clutching at the back of his shirt. His muscled arms held her shaking form tightly, making it hard to breathe in just the right way. Shū instantly felt more calm.

Another set of large hands settled on each of their shoulders and pulled them gently into the room.

"Come on, let's go to bed." Tooru's hand slipped off Hajime's shoulder and Shū snatched it up in her own, grasping at it like a lifeline. His creamy brown eyes held nothing but a gentle sincerity as he lead them back into the room and she let herself be pulled by them.

Hajime released her to slide into the futon and hold the blankets open in a silent invitation which she accepted just as silently, sliding in beside him. Tooru started to sit down on the bed but Shū hadn't released his hand and she tugged it towards her in a silent demand which he easily gave in to.

The futon was too small for all three of them, but they wiggled and pressed together until they were a tangle of limbs and warmth. Shū ended up with her cheek on Tooru's chest and Hajime pressed up behind her. Hajime's one arm came over them both, his fingers tangled in Shū's and hand placed on Tooru's chest. Tooru's other hand was wrapped over them, thumb absently rubbing at the spot on her ribs right below where Hajime's arm stretched over hers. None of them could tell who's legs were tangled with theirs anymore but every small movement was able to be felt by the others. It should have been uncomfortable, but the silence that fell around them was content.

It felt like home. Though Shū was the only one who knew why. It felt like home and the thought of having to leave this and return to her other "home" brought the panic back.

They were all sharply aware when she started shaking again, and when the shaking became nearly silent crying. The boys tightened their grips on her, pulling her as close to them as they could. Shū's body jerked against them in quiet sobs, the tears leaving a wet patch in the middle of Tooru's chest. All they could do was keep holding her fiercely and she gripped them back just as tightly.

When Shū fell into an exhausted sleep the boys kept holding her close. They both wondered at the strong urge they had to protect this girl in their arms, and they both found themselves with no real answer except that they'd never had a friend who was hurting this badly before. Or maybe because she was normally so strong and this weakness she was showing right now was more than they could take. Whatever the reason, they each tightened their grip once more before closing their eyes.

-

If they'd been a tangle last night, they were a true knot in the morning. Shū woke up to a groan on one side of her and a lot of painful wiggling. The wiggling stopped and was replaced by quiet whispers. Shū's brain slowly caught up to the sensations supplying her with the information of the night before and answering the question of why she felt safe even waking up around people.

Her arm below her was throbbing and she tried to roll off of it.

All three of them cried out in pain and she quickly moved back to her original position. She tilted her head up to the two boys.

"What's going on?" Sleep still weighed her tongue down heavily.

"We're stuck." Hajime answered unhelpfully, his voice was gravely from sleep and the sound helped her wake up.

"Somehow we've got our legs caught together, and none of us can move without pulling at someone else." Tooru's voice was even deeper than Hajime's and her brain snapped to fully awake instantly.

"How's that possible?" But when she moved to look up at him,  Hajime hissed out painfully and she returned to her spot. "Sorry."

Her face was pressed into the pillow in between them, and after a few experimental wiggles that all resulted in someone being in pain, the humor of the situation got to her. The first giggles were quiet, but she couldn't hide them for long.

"Don't laugh!" Tooru's protest just made it funnier, until both Shū and Hajime were cracking up. "Don't laugh! We might be trapped here forever!" Shū really tried to keep it together but the more indignant he got, the less she could contain her laughter.

"Stop it, this is serious! We'll miss the volleyball finals! We'll have to get food delivered!" She couldn't breathe now and really wished she could move to clutch at her aching stomach.

"Lighten up, will you?" Hajime reached over her and poked Tooru in the ribs. Tooru jerked away from the contact, smacking his head hard on the bed frame. Both Hajime and Shū winced as they both felt the bruise form.

"Are you okay?" Shū asked and then realized that she had turned to look at him. She wiggled her one leg free which seemed to free Hajime's leg and once she had both legs out the boys were able to roll away from each other. Tooru scrambled to his feet and made a break for the bathroom. Shū slumped back into the pillows and exchanged a glance with Hajime. The laughter bubbled back up again and soon they were both clutching their sides and pointedly trying not to look at each other. By the time Tooru returned from the bathroom the laughter had died down to smiles and the occasional huff.

Tooru puffed out his cheeks in a pout and then threw himself over top of them both.

"I can't believe you're still laughing. I almost died."

Instinctively Shū's hand reached out to ruffle Tooru's hair.

"You hit your head, right? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"What time is it anyway?" Shū groaned at Hajime's question but Tooru moved to look at the clock.

"Ah! We overslept!"

Shū turned to look at the clock. "Oh, man. I'm sorry! You're going to be late for morning practice."

She had to wiggle and shove a little bit to get out from under Tooru, turning around once she made it to the door. "I'll, uh... see you at school?"

They offered to stay and told her she didn't have to go to school but she dismissed everything. She pasted on a smile she knew they didn't believe and tried to pretend that she was fine.

-

After they were running out the door to try to get to practice, Shū found herself sitting across the kitchen table from Tooru's mom. The woman didn't say anything, but her eyes were sharp and intelligent like Tooru's, and they gazed at her like they might able to get the answers just by looking.

Shū gripped her fingers on one hand with the fingers from the other, squeezing her fingers nervously and not meeting Oikawa-san's gaze.

"You don't have to tell me. I can't force you to say anything, but I am going to ask you some questions."

Shū didn't figure she could stop the woman so she tried to straighten her spine and meet the woman's gaze.

"The reason that you're here, is it your dad?" Shū flinched from the words but tried to cover it up.

"It was just a little... disagreeme..." she trailed off at the look in Oikawa-san's eyes.

"Okay. Why was this the place you came to?"

"I mean... Tooru and Hajime are my best friends. They're like family. They make me feel... safe."

"Do you not feel safe at home?" Shū felt her muscles go completely tense. Of all the lies she'd told, that one was just too big, her lips couldn't form around it. Her stillness was apparently enough of an answer though because Oikawa-san put her arms on the table and pressed her steeped fingers to her lips.

Shū lowered her gaze before the sting in her eyes could form into tears. 

"It's fine... I'm um... usually, it's not..."  

"Shiori-chan. I want you to know that you are _always_ welcome here.  You can stay for as long as you need to." 

"Thank you, Oikawa-san."

"I'm going to ask you one more thing, okay?" Shū didn't like the sound of that at all but she nodded.

"Are you Tooru and Hajime's other soulmate?"

"Wha... wh-why would you...?" Oikawa-san looked at her with those dark eyes that seemed to hold the answers to the whole universe, and Shū ran out of protests as she realized that Oikawa-san wasn't really asking; she already knew.

"I know my boys. And I know that when you appeared into their lives... They were different somehow. Better, more complete. And I always wondered why, until they found out about their other soulmate. Now, I'm sure you have your reasons for not telling them, and I'm not going to say anything to them about it. But whatever reason you're hiding, you don't have to. They're good boys, and they'd be really good soulmates, if you want them to be."

"I can't."

"Do you not want them?"

"No! That's not it! That's not it at all! I just... Can't. Right now, anyway."

"You know, Shiori-chan, you can trust them."

"I know."

"And they will love you."

Shū ducked her head and went back to squeezing at her fingers. "I can't."

"Okay. I'm not going to push you. But I want you to know, that no matter what happens, you have family here. And I know the Iwaizumi's would feel the exact same way."

"You aren't going to tell them?"

"No. I won't. I promise." The woman had confidence in her eyes and Shū wanted to believe her, but she figured there was nothing she could do to stop her if the woman decided to tell her son about it.

"Okay. I should be going to school now. I'm really, really grateful for you... Oka-san. Thank you for letting me stay. And for talking with me."

The woman rose from the table and offered her arms to the younger girl. A mother's hug was warmer than she remembered. Tooru's mom smelled similar to him, but sweeter like vanilla tarts roasting in the oven.

"Shiori-chan, I'm going to give you my phone number. If you ever need me, or my husband, you can just call us, okay? Don't hesitate to call us."

"Thanks." Shū let the woman enter her number in her phone and then she shuffled out the door.

-

She didn't have her school bag or her gym clothes or anything at all that she needed for a day of school, but she went anyway, borrowing supplies from people as she needed them. The conversation stayed in her head all day, and she figured she'd be dwelling on it for days most likely. It was comforting to know that she wouldn't be completely abandoned if her dad finally tossed her aside. But it was also painful. It hurt to have a mother-figure after so long, and Shū had no idea how she should be responding or feeling about that. At the same time as she was feeling all of the confusion over all of this, she also knew one thing about herself. She wasn't ready to admit defeat. She'd run yesterday, for good reason, but she wasn't planning to keep running. She was going to stand up tall, she was going to outlast this. The mental count down came back. 3 months and 18 days and then she could be free and make her own choices about how she felt about everything that was going on. Until then, that's all she could focus on. She promised herself that she'd worry about soulmates, and Tooru, and Hajime, and her dad, and everything, later.

Several different times during the day she saw one of the two boys stopping by to check in her. She pretended not to see them as they paused by her classroom door or watched out of one of the second floor classrooms.

At the end of the day, the boys tried to get her to stay after school so they could walk home together but she had to go to her job. Which she wasn't even remotely able to focus on. The co-workers and her boss all asked if she was okay and though she insisted she was fine, when Hajime and Tooru showed up her boss told her to go home. The boys came by enough that everyone knew that the three of them were close so she was practically shoved out the door and into their arms.

Instant relief went through her at the sight of them, not that she was going to admit it to them but those small glimpses of them at school had helped her, and being away from them invited the weakness back. She hated to admit it, but it was easier to be strong when the boys bracketed her on either side. But she wasn't ready to give in to that weakness just yet.

"Shū, mom asked if you would come over for dinner tonight?" Tooru said as they started to walk towards her house.

"I appreciate the offer but I can't." The boys stopped walking but Shū continued to head straight forward until Hajime called out after her.

"Hey." When she turned back to them she was met with Hajime's green eyes looking unfamiliarly uncertain. "Are you sure tha-"

"You know," Shū turned her head to look up at the sky that was turning pale in the sunset, "I really appreciate you guys being around and just... Everything since yesterday. It means more than you can know. But I'm okay, I promise." She flashed them a quick smile which neither of them returned.

"You're not going to tell us what made you so upset?" Tooru asked, his face clearly showed that he was upset at the idea.

"No, I'm not. Not right now."

"But we-"

"Don't do that. Don't make this about you. I'm sorry about the way I lost it yesterday, and I really appreciate what you did, but I just... I really need you to let this go. I need you to trust me."

They were quiet for a long time before Hajime nodded, and he reached forward to grab a hold of Tooru's hand, who eventually nodded too.

 

 

-

 

Why are all the apartments in Tokyo so expensive?"

"What about the dorms?"

"I guess. They're pretty pricy too considering what you get for it. I mean it's only one tiny room for two people." After chewing on her lip she threw her head back and groaned. "I definitely didn't budget for rent being this high."

"Isn't your dad helping pay for it?"

Every muscle in her body went rigid and her eyes darkened for a moment before she shrugged.

"It's still a lot. Sorry for complaining so much, I'm just stressed."

She dismissed the whole topic but it seemed that they did not, because a few days later they brought the subject up again.

 

"We want you to live with us." They sprung the topic on her while they were sitting at the small table in Hajime's room, pouring over their exam notes.

"What?"

"I mean... you were just saying the other day that apartments are expensive, and we're already looking to get a fairly large one."

"It'll be cheaper and easier if we share a place. Plus, we're already figuring that you're going to be coming by constantly anyway." The boys had twin smirks pressed to their lips, and it wasn't as though she could deny that that was probably true. Living together was a different story though. It would be inconvenient for her, she'd have to guard her arms even more carefully than she did now for one thing. And there was the inevitability of the fallout that they would have when they eventually found out her secret. Despite her very good reasons to say no, the word wouldn't form. She pictured domestic moments with her soulmates, they'd be all cute and shit, and she'd be there to see it. One of them would cook, maybe even wear an apron, the other would say something snarky about the ingredients and then they'd be chasing each other around a too-small kitchen. And she could be there.  Maybe she could be laughing at their antics while setting the table. Her heart wasn't strong enough to say no.

"You're our best friend, so we think it would be great,  but you don't have to answer now."

"I want to say yes. I'm just wondering how often you'll be sexiling me." She said it as a joke, but there was a part of her that wondered if she'd be okay with hearing them sleep together a room over from her. Both boys turned red, Tooru started flapping his hands in protest and Hajime made a rather undignified squeak.

"We wouldn't! I mean, we don't! We have, but we're not. Or... we.... aren't?" Tooru let his protests out in a flurry that didn't make much sense.

"Okay. Back up. What? Are you telling me that you aren't sleeping together?" It seemed a little difficult to believe, for a number of reasons. Their faces turned even darker red.

Hajime cleared his throat quickly.

"We were but... when we found out about our other soulmate we thought it would be best to-"

"No!" Shū felt her own face heat up, feeling utterly mortified at what they were implying. "Are you kidding me? That's a terrible idea! What is wrong with you? You can't put that kind of pressure on people."

They were completely taken off guard by her comment and finally, Tooru asked. "What do you mean?"

"By deciding to not have sex without your soulmate what you're really saying is that you _will_ have sex with them. They're not going to fuck you right away, you know that, right?"

"Well, of course we'll wait until they are ready-"

She was fired up now, her vision practically turning red as the blood rushed to her ears. "Yeah? What happens if they're never ready?  What if they're asexual? What if they're not interested? So what, you'll just never have sex if they don't... What exactly are you planning to do if they never contact you?"

"You're the one who said that they definitely would!" Tooru squawked out a protest.

"I was being optimistic! You need to know that there is a chance that this isn't going to happen!"

"But when they're ready-"

"Maybe they never will be! Why don't you get that? It's not an easy thing to suddenly commit your life to people you've been avoiding your whole life, okay? Maybe some people are just... never ready."

Her words echoed through the empty house as a stunned silence fell between the three of them.

It was a rare display of emotion from her and the other two could only stare.

"Shit." She scrubbed at the tears forming in her eyes. "Sorry."

"We're not talking about our soulmate anymore, are we?"

_Yeah, we are._

_"_ Sorry. I didn't mean to..." She took a deep breath, though it came out shaky. She pressed her eyes shut and tried to breathe, but could feel her lower lip trembling involuntarily. Two large hands gently pressed over her forearms, one was heavy and warm, the other was light and cold to the touch.

"It's okay if you're not ready." At Tooru's gentle words she shook her head violently.

"No. We were talking about your soulmate-" But Hajime interrupted her.

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. But you have nothing to be worried about. Your soulmate is going to love you."

The words sent barbs through her chest, especially coming from him. A sob escaped up her throat before she could stop it.

"I think they're going to hate me." She whispered, the admission slipped off her tongue and surprised even her. The two boys grips on her tightened.

"No, they could never hate you."

"He's right, you're soulmates after all, they'll love you so much."

Tears sneaked in single file down her face now, sobs catching in her throat as she tried to explain.

"It's be-been almost 19 years. How can I make up for that? How do I explain why I haven't talked to them? What if they- they probably think I don't want them. So how could I ever fix this? How can I apologize for the pain I caused? How- how do I tell them I always wanted them? That I miss them so much it hurts? I-" she choked over her tears, unable to keep up the stream of words.

Two pairs of arms wrapped around her, holding her steady between them as she cried. She buried her face in the crook of their elbows that were crossed right in front of her, gripping their arms tightly. One of them offered gentle words of reassurance while the other rubbed tiny circles over her back.

-

In the end, the three of them did move in together. They found a three bedroom apartment and the boys took the main bedroom that had its own bathroom. They turned the third bedroom into a study. The space wasn't very big, the building was old and a bit drafty. All three of them agreed that it was absolutely perfect.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College and a funeral

It was just a stupid argument. Just a difference in opinion, really. The volume of the shouts was rising rapidly and Hajime was just about to tell them both to calm down when all hell broke loose.

Oikawa slammed his palm on the table and rose out of his seat, but the shouts died on his lips at Shū's reaction. Her chair cluttered to the floor as she threw herself backwards violently. The girl hit the ground hard. She had her arms up over her face and she scrambled back until her back was pressed up against the cupboards.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry. You were right!"

"Shū? What the-"

She didn't lower her arms even as apologies spilled from her lips. Her eyes wouldn't come up to meet theirs either, even though they were open impossibly wide.

"I'm sorry. I was mistaken. It just took me a minute to realize that because I'm stupid. So, I'm really sorry. You were right."

Oikawa pushed the fallen chair out of the way so he could kneel down in front of her and reach out a hand for her. Every muscle in her body went completely tense, her knuckles turned white as she clenched her fists. It even seemed she stopped breathing as she pressed herself backwards away from him. Hajime found himself gabbing Oikawa's hand before it reached her, though he didn't really know why. Oikawa allowed his hand to be drawn away, still focused on trying to meet the girl's eyes.

"I'm sorry. I got carried away. I didn't mean to scare you."

"No no no. Don't apologize. This was all my fault." When she finally looked at them, it was with glassy eyes, as if she was looking right through them.

"Hey, Shū," Hajime said gently, also kneeling down in front of her, "we would never hurt you, you know that, right?"

"Of course I do." The words sounded confident but her arms were still up between them defensively. It wasn't until she was back on her feet that she lowered her arms. "I just realized I have to run to the store. I can get you anything you'd like while I'm there?"

They both shook their heads and she nodded in response. When she left, she backed out of the room so she never had her back turned to either of them. She left so fast they weren't sure she'd even taken the time to put on her shoes before going out the door.

"What was that?"

"I think... that explains a lot actually." Hajime replied carefully. Tooru's face turned down in a frown full of hurt as he bit his lip.

"Should we... go after her?"

"Let's give her some space. She only went to the store, we'll talk to her when she gets back."

Oikawa hesitated, but agreed with a nod of his head. His big brown eyes looked like a puppy that had just been kicked. Hajime gathered the larger boy into his arms and planted firm kisses to the top of his hair.

An hour later, they realized that she wasn't "just running to the store". Her phone lay on the kitchen table where she had left it, and they waited with growing unease for her to return.

Two hours later, Tooru's lip was bleeding from the worried bites he'd been giving it. Hajime put on a movie to distract them while they waited.

Five hours later they both woke up after falling asleep during a second movie. There were two beers on the coffee table with a note that just said 'peace offering'. Shū's bed was still empty and her phone was still on the table.

The next morning, Shū walked in to the house like she hadn't been missing for over 12 hours. She was wearing an outfit they'd never seen before, smelled faintly of cigarette smoke, and was carrying a bag that seemed to be holding the clothes she'd left in, which she put straight in the washing machine before going straight to the shower. None of the three of them seemed to have anything to say, and so they didn't say anything.

 

The tiny moments that made them suspicious of how she'd grown up continued to happen. First it was the flinches. Shū was elbow-deep in soapy water and dishes the first time they noticed it. Hajime went to get tea from the cupboard above Shū, he was naturally quiet so she hadn't known what he was doing until he was right beside her. She saw the arm raise up beside her and she ducked away. It wasn't a small flinch. It was a full-body movement that sent the dish she'd been cleaning falling to shatter on the floor. Water and soap ended up all over the counter and over her. Tooru came running into the room when he heard the crash and he found them like that- Hajime still had an arm raised towards the tea and Shū had an arm up protectively in between her face and Hajime. Tooru instructed them both to stay still and ran to get a broom to sweep up the glass around their feet.

"Sorry. You startled me." Shū muttered and went right back to doing the dishes.

Hajime lowered his arm slowly and hadn't been able to force any words out around the lump in his throat. Nothing in Hajime's life really had prepared him for his best friend staring at him with absolute terror in her eyes.

Nothing prepared him for the way that it became a regular occurrence around their small apartment.

Shū found a way to make herself as small as possible. When Tooru came in after a frustrating day of arguing with his group for one class and threw his bag down with a loud slam, Shū vanished from the kitchen so fast Hajime could hardly believe she'd been standing right in front of him only a second before that.

Tooru was the one who noticed the difference in Shū's smiles. There was a painful tension in her eyes whenever the boys' had a drink in their hands. The first time she'd opened the fridge to see the cold pack of beer inside, she had frozen and after an extra long moment of staring at it, she had closed the fridge and left the room without getting whatever she'd originally been after. She said she didn't mind it when they drank, but they both noticed the way her eyes would trail from the bottles in their hands around every flat surface of the apartment as if she were counting the bottles that sat empty on the coffee table.

Despite all of this, the boys didn't really stop living the way they always had. Maybe it would have been a good idea for Hajime to announce his intentions when he went to grab something from near her. Maybe Tooru should have given her more warning when he'd pounce on her for a hug. And maybe they should have told her when they were going to have people over to drink with them. But somehow, they told themselves that she'd get used to them, and they kept living like always.

 

-

 

Shū wasn't one for getting into fights. She knew how to fight of course, the kickboxing classes she'd been taken for the past few years proved that. She'd always been the opposite, running and ducking out of the way when trouble came swinging. It wasn't until one of the many parties that her best friends liked to hold in their apartment, without asking her, that she finally broke.

It had been one of those days. One of those "the universe is out to get me" kind of a day. She definitely should have known better than to wish for a quiet evening at home, because the loud music echoing through the hallway of their building promised her that she wouldn't get her wish. Music, the pungent smell of alcohol and drunken laughter fell on her the moment she entered the door. She made her way through the college kids who were various level's of intoxicated and went to toss her books into her room. After nodding to Kenma, who sat on her bed with his nose in his PSP and looking as uncomfortable as she felt, she went back to the kitchen. Someone had set up a bar across the counter, Kuroo was busy showing off his expertise as a bartender while other people eagerly taste-tested every odd concoction he came up with.

"Do you know where Oikawa and Iwaizumi are?" She had to scream over the music but he shook his head and tried to shove a glass of something that smelled like the promise of the worst hangover ever into her hands. She shoved the glass back and took a beer instead, just to make her hands look full, and went looking for her roommates.

The apartment wasn't large but she only made it a few steps out of the kitchen when she was cornered. Two guys that she'd never seen before, but who looked like assholes blocked her path. They each held a shot glass of hard liquor in each of their hands. They smelled like trouble and the glassy look in their eyes confirmed that.

"A pretty thing like you should be drinking something more exciting than beer."

"No thanks."

"Come on, don't be a prude."

"I don't want any. Please get out of my way." The one man slammed his hand into the wall beside her head and Shū felt herself cringe and stop breathing. Her instincts screamed 'Danger!' but she was boxed in between the two boys and the coatrack. The boy who wasn't trapping her brushed his fingers along the hem of her sleeve and sent a shudder up her spine.

"No soulmate, huh? Everyone knows that a girl with no soulmate needs some extra lovin'."

Shū jerked her hand away from his touch. "Get away from me." She ground the words out between clenched teeth and the boys seemed to think this was the funniest thing she could have said.

"What do we have to do to get some real liquor into you? You look like you could use a real drink." Their eyes slid over her and she could barely breathe.

"Oh, don't be like that." The other boy said, though his tone was obviously insincere. "If she doesn't want to drink, she doesn't have to. I've thought of something better anyway." He pulled the shot up to his lips and before she could react those lips were pressed into hers. She nearly choked as the alcohol and the boy's tongue were shoved down her throat.  In that moment, all of the years of choosing flight suddenly didn't matter because her only instinct was 'FIGHT'. She bit him. And not at all in the sexy way. Then she grabbed him by the hair and yanked his face away from hers before smashing it forward over her shoulder, straight into the wall they had her pinned against. The other boy went to grab her and she punched him in the face.  There was a lot of screaming. The whole party ground to a stop to stare at Shū standing over the two boys with blood on her knuckles and murder in her eyes.

"Get out." Her eyes swept over the crowd. "Everyone get the fuck out of my apartment." Her words weren't loud but the apartment was clear within a few minutes. Kuroo helped dump the two boys who were clutching broken noses out into the hallway and then he turned to her.

"Where are they?" Neither of her roommates had yet to make an appearance and she was fuming mad. Kenma apparently saw the danger in her eyes and he quickly hauled Kuroo out the door, leaving her in an empty silent apartment.

They came home not long after that. They were carrying more drinks, and were very, very drunk.

"Where did the party go?" Tooru asked, and Hajime had given a drunken smile as if that was the funniest thing he had heard.

"Give me your keys. I want to show you guys something."

"Is it cool?"

"Oh, it's very cool." She corralled them both into the entryway, and waited until they both handed over their keys to the apartment. "Wait right here." She told them as she went to retrieve the bucket she'd already filled with ice and water. The instant the water hit them, they were screaming. She gave them each a hard shove on the chest and then they were looking at her through suddenly much more sober eyes. There was a moment where they all stood staring at each other, and then she smiled and slammed the door in their faces.

With no phones and no keys and clothes that were dripping freezing cold water, she left them out there. She ignored their knocking and calling from the other side of the door and went to bed.

At 6am the next morning she left the apartment and as she passed them she dropped the boy's keys onto their laps. They both woke with a start only to watch her back head down the steps to go for a run.

-

"I think we need to put down some ground rules."

The boys nodded at her from where they sat on the couch; they were curled up together under a blanket after thoroughly having caught colds after sleeping in the hallway in wet, freezing clothes a few days ago. Neither of them complained about getting sick, and she had made them tea and soup without hesitation, checking on them regularly until they were well enough to be propped here on the couch so they could all talk.

"First of all, I'm sorry that you both got sick. I was pissed. But I shouldn't have thrown you out like that. This apartment belongs to all of us." The boys just shared a grimace. Kuroo had explained to them what had happened at the party and why Shū had been so pissed at them, and they couldn't really be mad at her when she had had to defend herself from a scumbag shoving his tongue down her throat. She sighed.

"I'm not going to tell you not to have parties here, but you need to let me know, in advance, when they will be held. And, if you're hosting a party, at least one of you needs to be here in the apartment at all times."

"If you don't want us to have parties here anymore, we can-" Shū stopped him with a wave of her hand.

"I don't care what you guys do. I don't mind the parties or whatever, but you're treating it like it's a curtesy to tell me when you do this, when it really should be a necessity. I have a large work load and there are some times that I'm going to need a lot of peace and quiet to be able to keep up with my course load. As long as you keep that in mind, it will all work out just fine."

-

Things did settle down after that. Both boys settled into their work loads. The parties died down from the whole first year class to the volleyball team and their guests.

Shū admitted that she liked those parties much better. When they first had the team back to their place it seemed like a pretty ridiculous group of people.

Kuroo and Kenma were already a regular installment in their lives, since Kuroo had classes with both Hajime and Shū. Kenma was a year younger, and was still in High School, but he somehow seemed to be around all of the time anyway.

There were many others, but only the other first years were really sticking out in Shū's mind. In particular, one boy bounced into the room with a loud shout and a beaming smile. His hair was odd, white and black, and familiar in a way that she couldn't place. He had too much energy and got too much into her space when he introduced himself.

"Hey, hey! I'm Bokuto! Thanks for having us! This is-" he turned to indicate a distinctly empty space beside him before screaming, "Akaaaashi! Where did you go? Bro! Have you seen Akaashi!" And then the boy was gone, apparently to go leap on top of Kuroo.

"Wow."

Hajime tipped a beer back to his lips with a chuckle. "He's always like that." The boy informed her.

"Wow."

She met others too. Yaku, who she recognized from one of her classes. And Daichi and Suga who she remembered from the games they played against Karasuno in High School. Apparently some of the others had also been from rival schools too, but she didn't get a chance to meet everyone properly as the drinks started pouring more freely through everyone's lips.

"Shū!" The shout almost gave her a heart attack, but she turned to see Kuroo hauling two boys towards her. Kenma looked like he was only following because Kuroo had his PSP. The other boy looked very unenthused but allowed himself to be pulled across the room. The boy was gorgeous, dark hair and piercing eyes which were framed with delicate features, Shū vaguely thought that he looked young.

"Shū, Akaashi, Kenma," Kuroo grinned at her as he introduced them all to each other. "These two never talk about their soulmates." He informed her. Kenma's eyes went wide, and Akaashi looked ready to shoot darts from his eyes, but Kuroo didn't notice because he turned and wandered back towards the kitchen.

"What the hell, Kuroo-san?" Akaashi mumbled. Kenma shook his head quickly.

"I'm sorry. He's not normally rude like that."

"He's normally more perceptive." Akaashi agreed, placing a gentle hand on Kenma's shoulder.

"I don't think he was trying to be rude. I think he said that to tell us that we have something in common." Shū smiled at them and pulled up her dress shirt sleeve to reveal the tight black sleeve underneath.

Both of their mouths turned into a little "O" and Shū pushed her hand out towards the new boy.

"Hi."

They got along well. And in the days that followed, the three often found themselves being dragged after their respective crazy volleyball players. They formed an unlikely friendship and often shared laughs at the antics of the boys. Shū often wished that the two were in the same year, but was glad that they were around most weekends. Akashi wore sleeves much like her own and Kenma seemed to perpetually live in large sweaters that came down to his fingers. The three of them found comfort in the way that around each other, they didn't have to talk about soulmates at all.

Life passed by in a blur. Before they had even really noticed, more than six months had come and gone. And life was good. Shū couldn't be happier to be at school and living with her boys, even if she was still working herself ragged between her job and school.

 

-

 

It was coming close to the end of the school year when she received a phone call. It was a one of their great Thursday evenings that they all had free from school and work. When her phone rang, she cast an apologetic glance at the boys and abandoned their card game to move across the room and answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Is this Sakomoto Shiori?"

"Yes it is."

"Ma'am I'm sorry to have to inform you..." After that, the words blurred in her head. _Father... Alcohol Poisoning... Morgue... Condolences..._

"What?" Her voice croaked over the word. There was a short silence on the other side of the line and then the man repeated his previous speech gently.

"I... see." She said when he was done. He gave her a few more details and asked her when she could come see to the funeral arrangements.

"I go to school in Tokyo. But I can be on the next train and be there in a few hours."

The boys had been drawn in to her reactions when she had first gone completely still. Her back was turned towards them but they listened closely to her side of the conversation.

"Yes. That would be fine. Yes." Then there was a long pause. The man asked, "Do you have a soulmate you could bring with you? It might help to have someone along."

Shū paused and for the first time, turned enough to glance into her soulmates' eyes. "No... I don't." Then she turned back away and pretended to keep listening. "Yes. That would be fine. Okay. Thank you."

The boys waited for her to turn around and tell them what that was about, but she didn't. There was a moment of stillness where she was still rooted to the spot and then she moved stiffly as she went straight to her room and shut the door. A few minutes later she appeared with a duffle bag under her arm, which she shoved a few things from the bathroom in and then went to the door and slid her shoes on.

"Shū-chan wait! What's going on?"

When she looked at them her eyes were clear but her face was sewn with an expression bordering on confusion. Her lips especially were drawn into a thin line that dipped down into an expression that they had never seen on her before.

"I have something I have to take care of. I'll be back soon. Or... If I'm not back by... A week. Next Thursday. I'll call you, okay?"

"Okay?"

After the door closed with a click the boys looked at each other.

"We're never going to understand her, are we?"

-

The next day after practice the usual group met up and were on their way to get drinks when Yaku slapped Tooru on the shoulder.

"Hey man. I heard about Shū's dad. How is she holding up?"

"What do you mean?" Hajime asked at the same time that Tooru said,

"Her dad?"

"Yeah. Our professor announced in class that we had to reorganize the groups a little because she's not going to be there all week..." Yaku paused but continued when it was clear they didn't know what he was saying "because she's gone... for her dad's... funeral... Which you guys apparently did not know about."

Kuroo let out a low whistle. "Her dad _died_ , and she didn't say anything to you guys at all?"

"Wow. Even I know that's messed up. What did you do?" Bokuto bounced on his toes as he asked the question and both boys in question scowled at him.

"I would fight with you but I don't have the time right now." Tooru huffed.

"Right." Hajime confirmed as he grabbed the other boy's hand and started to pull him away, "We have to go."

-

Shū was feeling a bit numb. It wasn't that she was upset, exactly, but it was strange. The house had always felt empty but now it really was. And the thoughts. The thousands and thousands of thoughts. For the first time in her life, she was free. And she showed it in an odd way. She took off her sleeves. She only owned one tank top but she wore it proudly around the house, relishing how it felt to just be herself within these walls.

There were so many things she had to do, which started with packing up this house. Yesterday and most of today she'd spent the day doing just that. But she took a break, cigarette in her mouth, head leaning back to catch the few rays of sun this window saw. When the doorbell rang she assumed it was the lawyer again and didn't bother to fix her appearance, but did snuff out the cigarette.

Opening the door revealed Hajime, and Tooru only a step behind him. She gaped at them for a moment and then saw Hajime's eyes start to trail down towards her bare arms. She gasped and jumped back several steps, throwing her arms behind her back. Then she turned and bolted into the other room, shouting back over her shoulder,

"Come in! I'm just gonna throw on a shirt!" She changed into the first shirt she saw in her bag, instant relief sliding into her as the familiar feel of fabric slid along her arms. Only then did she let herself fully realize the fact that they were there.

They were still standing in the doorway, looking around at the dismal state of the house, and she knew it would only appear even more so when they got further in.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "What are you doing here?"

"We heard about your dad. We didn't want you to be alone."

"It's not that I don't appreciate you guys coming. I do. But shouldn't you be in class right now?"

They each placed their bags on the floor as if to indicate their determination to stay.

"Some things are more important than class." Hajime said quietly.

"Tomorrow is a Sunday and it's the middle of the semester anyway so nothing super important is happening right now anyway." Tooru added helpfully, finally moving to take off his shoes.

"You can leave your shoes on. It's not very clean in here right now. Take a seat. I'll make some tea."

She went into the kitchen and pulled out the kettle, which looked like it hadn't been touched since she had left almost a year ago. She cleaned it quickly and set it to making tea and then she turned back to the boys.

Their expressions made her breathe out a laugh. "You can stop looking at me like that." Pursed lips and eyes shadowed with concern. She sat at the kitchen table and they followed suit. "You didn't have to come."

"We wanted to." Hajime said as Tooru slipped his hand over hers, and she made no move to pull away. The three of them sat in silence until the tea was ready and Shū rose to get it.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" When they both shook their heads she brought the ashtray over to the table as well.

"I didn't know that you smoked." Tooru said and Shū shrugged, looking at the 3 cigarettes that were left in the pack that she'd bought yesterday.

"A little." She said finally as she lit the cigarette and let the smoke curl up around her head.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Fuck. Your dad just died! Don't you have more of a reaction?"

Drawing a breath through the cigarette slowly, she kept her eyes on them to draw out the moment before answering, then she shrugged.

"My dad was the only family I have. That doesn't mean I have to care that he's gone. I probably should. Most people would. But most people didn't have him as a father. So no. There's nothing to talk about."

As her words sunk in to them they thought back to all the things that made her response not a surprise. They thought about the way she flinched away from them, or the look of terror in her eyes when they would raise their voices abruptly. They remembered the way that she used to sometimes stare off into space as if she could make the whole world disappear if she tried hard enough. And the times back in high school when she appeared at their houses without warning or explanation, and the way she looked at their soulmate's bruises with an expertise that had to be born of experience. Finally they relented.

"Okay. How can we help?" Hajime finally asked. The tension left her in an instant. A deep breath and a smile later she even looked like herself again.

"Well. Apparently my dad has been too lazy to write a new will since I was a baby and because of my parents divorce, I'm getting everything that was my dad's. The big thing is the house. I need to get it packed, cleaned and ready to sell by the time I leave. Which seems a lot more possible if you guys want to help." She gave them a hopeful smile which they returned easily.

 

A few hours later the house was looking much improved. The ratty couch was out in the front yard along with several lamps and other large items they'd be taking to the dump.

It was Tooru surprisingly who was the most intent on getting the house spotless. Hajime had just brought back food which interrupted Tooru from cleaning the windows of all things. They'd spent the day mostly in silence but after the food arrived, Tooru finally broke the silence.

"So when we came in and you were wearing no sleeves..." she froze completely, fighting back panic at the possibility that he'd seen and recognized the words on her arms. "Were you... talking to your soulmate?"

"Of course not." She scoffed, but then her face turned to the now clean window absently. "I just... wanted to see what it would feel like to not wear the sleeves in this house." She had never told them that she wore the sleeves because of her dad, but she figured they would understand that it been so long since she'd been sleeveless, so it was special in it's own way anyway.

"How was it?" Hajime was the one to ask and Shū allowed herself a small smile.

"It was... strange. But kinda nice."

"You think you'll do it again? Showing your arms?"

She glanced at Tooru for a long time before answering his question. "Maybe. Someday."

The answer seemed to satisfy them both, Tooru even gave out a little hum of contentment.

There was no way she could force herself to eat more than a few bites, despite their urging that she eat more. After they were done, she suggested that the boys go to their parent's houses for the night.

"Shū, we came to be here for you. We're not going anywhere." She looked at Tooru thoughtfully, then at Hajime who just nodded.

"I don't have another futon or anything for you guys to stay on."

"I'm sure we can make it work. We've all piled into a futon before, after all." Tooru was just teasing but the grimace on Shū's face made him take this more seriously.

"That's the thing... I don't really have a... proper bed here either."

Both boys went directly to her room. They had been cleaning in the house all day, but she had closed the door on that room and said that she would deal with it later. Now, without hesitation, Hajime pushed the door open.

The room was painfully sparse. A low table sat in the center of the room, a desk stood in one corner that had one drawer hanging open in a way that indicated that it was broken. There was a lamp in the corner next to the smallest bed that they had ever seen.

Tooru made a sound that could have been choking. "Is that... A child's bed?"

Shū came up behind them and leaned on the doorway, arms crossed and her lips pressed into a firm line but didn't respond to the question. Hajime gently tried to get a response from her.

"Did... Did your dad move your bed out when you left?"

"No. It actually looks like he hadn't been in here once since I left."

"Is that a child-sized bed?" Tooru asked again and this time Shū nodded, she kept her face and voice neutral as if to normalize the situation.

"My mom got it for me before she left. I was nine, I think." They looked at the bed, then back at her, then at the bed again. The second time that they brought their eyes up to her, she let out a sigh and rubbed the back of her head.

"So that's why I was saying that you two should head back to your parent's place tonight."

"Come with us." Tooru reached over to grasp her hand as she said the words and Hajime met her eyes with his, the green eyes bright and resolute. She carefully pulled her hand out of Tooru's grasp.

"I'm staying." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Tooru started shaking his head. His protests stopped on his tongue as Hajime put his hand on Tooru's shoulder.

"If you stay, we stay. We'll go borrow a futon from our parents."

Tooru's eyes seemed to light up at the idea. "I'll have my parents bring a bunch of extra blankets too. We'll be here for a few days. We might as well get comfortable."

And they did. They each got their parents to bring over the guest futon from their houses. They piled the two futons together and covered them with blankets. Tooru especially seemed very satisfied with this arrangement, he buried himself in the blankets and let the other two settle inside the warmth on either side of him. Two futons fit them better than the one that they had piled into that one time in high school, but they still pressed in close to each other. Shū wasn't sure if she should be laughing or crying at this development. The boys drifted off the sleep quickly, which was no surprise because of the trip they had taken plus all the work they had done that day. But Shū lay awake for a long time after their breathing had gone steady.

It was too strange having them here. Here in this house where she had been beaten for having two soulmates, and now they were here, sound asleep pressed into her side. She couldn't begin to imagine what her father would say. He would most likely be rolling in his grave (or in the morgue) that this was even happening. The thought had an ironic laugh sitting uncomfortably at the back of her throat.

After an hour or two of that feeling, she carefully extracted herself from the arms both boys had wrapped around her and then made her way into the living room. She lit a cigarette and watched the smoke until it disappeared into the darkness in the room.

It obviously was not the first time that she had considered telling them, considered rolling up her sleeves and letting the boys see just who she was. But she couldn't. Not today. Not while she was reeling from the confusion and pain. Not while they would want to comfort her and not confront her. No. She would tell them someday, when all three of them were thinking clearly and could deal with this the way that they needed to. For now, she had too many other things to deal with.

With the cigarette still in her mouth, she moved into her fathers room, and started filling a box with the man's meager possessions.

 

 

After lunch the next day, she dealt with the next thing on her list. She hadn't been able to make herself eat much, so she left the boys to finish their lunch. After making sure that they knew what to work on after they were done eating, she moved into the other room, pulled out an old address book and her phone. It took several breaths to work up the courage to hit the call button.

The phone rang and the woman that answered sounded young and professional. Shū stated her full name and asked to speak to her grandfather by name, making sure to mention that it was about his son. The way the secretary hesitated Shū wasn't sure that the call would be connected, but it was only a few seconds later when the call connected.

The gruff sounding man on the other line offered no greeting before saying, "I have no son called Sakomoto Yuiji."

Shū froze, breath catching at the harshness. "I... see..." she said carefully, now wondering if she had the right number.

"He lost the right to be called my son many years ago."

"I see." She repeated more confidently now that she knew she had the right number. "Though I'm sure that's true, I still need to discuss something with you. My name is Shiori, and I am his daughter."

"That means nothing to me." The words cut through her so deeply that she doubled over, clutching at her heart. She took a moment to take a deep breath, tears in her eyes now, before she straightened up and forced her usual confidence back in place.

"Fine then. It is still my responsibility to tell you that Yuiji passed away this past week. The funeral is on Tuesday at noon." She gave the name of the funeral home even though the man seemed completely uninterested in the matter. After she hung up the phone she wrapped her arms around herself and took a deep breath. The rushing in her ears was so loud she didn't notice the two boys approach from behind her.

"Hey." Tooru called gently and an arm slid around her shoulders. The tears glistened in her eyes but didn't fall as she turned to them. "What was that?"

"I wasn't expecting it to go well but I didn't... I didn't think that they wouldn't even want to meet me."

 

The second phone call went even worse than the first.

"I'm sorry but I can't give you that information." The older woman's voice was a little uncertain but still firm enough.

"Even though I'm her daughter?" A telling sort of silence stretched between them and her next words came out in a whisper, " _Especially_ because I'm her daughter?" The silence continued. "Did she tell you not to tell me, _me_ specifically, if I ever called?" Now Shū was mad, she clenched her teeth and tried not to show it. "Fine. If she doesn't want to talk to me, that's fine. Please pass on this message for me though. Sakomoto Yuiji passed away this week. There will be a funeral on Tuesday for him. I understand for obvious reasons if she doesn't want to come, but she should know that this will likely be the last time she will ever know where I will be." She gave the details of the funeral home, but decided not to leave her phone number. Her grandmother had sounded a little apologetic, but had made no effort to smooth anything out between them. Maybe it was natural for a mother to shelter her daughter like that, but it seemed a little unfair to be the granddaughter that was being pushed out. All because she carried that man's last name. Because half of her blood had come from him. And now, no one wanted her.

There was a snap and she looked down at the pencil she had just snapped in her hand. She put down the broken pen and picked up a cigarette and her lighter. After a moment of struggling to hold her hands still enough to light the damn thing, she gave up. It wasn't fair.

The first tears were hot and silent. Unlit cigarette still in her hand, she placed the back of her wrist over her eyes and ignored the boys' attempts to talk to her.

"That's not fair." She said finally. "That's really damn unfair." The first sob tore at her throat then. "None of this was my fault. It's not my fault who my father is. It's not like I wanted any of this to happen. I didn't make the problems. And now she just... Because I have the same fucking name as him? It's not fucking fair! I didn't choose any of this..." The tears were soaking her cheeks as she finally looked at them. Brown eyes and green eyes stared at her in a concern that bordered on fear when she finally said her next thought. "... I didn't choose to be born."

The sobs became too much then, and she turned into a sobbing heap, held together only by two sets of strong arms wrapping around her.

 

-

 

The funeral was depressing, even for a funeral. Only a handful of people showed up; as promised, none of the family was there. A handful of her dad's co-workers showed up to quietly pay their respects. Both Tooru and Hajime's parents came by to give Shū their love and support through kind words and soft hugs.

Shū was busy talking idly to her dad's co-workers and watching the two boys from across the room. They made quiet conversations with various people, and saved her from many ridiculous small-talk conversations. She felt a rush of affection for both of them, for the way that they were here and had jumped in to support her without hesitation. She lost sight of them while speaking to one of the women from her dad's office and was just starting to look for them again when another voice crept up towards her.

"Well, darlin'. Haven't you grown up all nice?" The familiar, greasy voice filled her heart with ice. She stopped breathing as the older man slunk closer to her, uncomfortably close. She desperately wanted to find where her soulmates had disappeared to, she wished she could look over and somehow tell them with her gaze how unsafe she felt in that moment. But she didn't dare take her gaze from the man in front of her, watching him like someone would watch a venomous snake.

"What are you doing here?"

"You expected me to not come to my best buddy's funeral? That's cold." The man snorted, but gave her an appraising look that slithered along every inch of her. "Lucky for you though, I like my women heartless."

Shū couldn't help but reach a hand out behind her in a silent plea for something, anything, to help steady her. But she was completely surprised when warm, ridiculously long fingers wrapped around hers. The warmth filled her with courage and she straightened her spine. The man looked over her shoulder at the two boys and gave out a low whistle. "Finally went running to your soulmates then? I guess that bastard was right. He also said I should teach you a good lesson for him if I saw you before he did."

A muscled arm came around her shoulders protectively as Hajime stepped forward next to her, Tooru squeezing her hand still as he pressed forward so they were surrounding her with their strength. Hajime let out a low growl from deep in his throat before he spoke.

"You'd better pay your respects and make yourself gone."

The man whistled again, not bothered in the least at their display of strength. "Wow. So manly." But he started to walk past them, stopping to trail a hand along Shū's jaw, laughing when she flinched back from the contact. "Well, if you ever get sick of these two _boys_ , you know where to find me."

The three of them stood for another moment until the man was completely out of sight. As soon as he was gone, tremors took over Shū's whole body and she grabbed at her mouth and her stomach.

"I'm going to be sick." And she was.

She made it outside before violently losing the sparse contents of her stomach in the bushes. For a long moment she stayed hunched close to the ground, hands gripping at her head, her breath becoming more and more erratic as she fell hard into a panic attack. Tears fell and she couldn't breathe, she grabbed a fist full of grass to steady herself. A large hand covered her back and she flinched away until she heard Tooru whispering his calm reassurances. She was still crouched down, knees near her head, and she crossed her arms over her knees and put her forehead on her arms.

Minutes passed. Several forced deep breaths later she was finally able to look up over her shoulder. Tooru was crouched down right behind her, and Hajime stood over them both protectively, though he handed her a bottle of water when he noticed her looking. She rinsed bile from her mouth, spat in the bushes and then drank most of the bottle before finally convincing her muscles to loosen enough for her to stand up. Tooru's hand never left her back and she was eternally grateful for the touch.

"What was that about?" Hajime asked and she shook her head to deny everything.

"It wasn't nothing. That was a full on panic attack just now." Tooru said, and Shū could see that neither of them were going to drop this. She couldn't see a way for her to tell them anything but the truth, so she took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around herself before she started choosing her words carefully to explain.

"Do you remember that one time... back in High School. I showed up at your place in the middle of the night? I cried and you let me stay over. Your mom lit a vanilla scented candle in the guest room and it was weirdly comforting. We got all tangled up in the futon and almost died trying to get out."

"I mean... I don't remember the candle, but yeah." Tooru said and Hajime commented as well,

"You never told us why you were crying."

Shū took a deep breath, and had to force her jaw to unclench around the words as she finally explained it to them. "My dad... it was probably just a drunken joke, you know? But it really didn't feel like one at the time." She tightened her arms around herself until her fingers were digging into her flesh and tried to will her limbs to stop trembling. "My dad had a few buddies over. Most of them were passed out. And Dad started talking about... me making money for him." She had to force several breaths through her lungs in between the words to get the whole story out. "He started talking about... se-selling... me. Into prost-prostitution... to _him_." She nodded in the direction her dad's friend had left in, though it was a little vague, but they got it. The boys' eyes turned dark, Tooru freezing up and Hajime clenched his jaw and his fists, even taking a step towards where the man had gone. Shū grabbed him before he could go get into a fight and then the tears were there again. Two sets of strong arms encircled her, crushing her with their warmth and she let them. She let their strength and warmth seep into her, let her bones steal some of their strength. Finally she wiggled and they let go, leaving hands lingering on her shoulders.

"Why didn't you tell us? We wouldn't have made you go back there." Hajime said the words quietly but with fire, and Tooru nodded just as firmly.

 _That's why I didn't tell you._ Was what she thought, but instead she settled on squeezing one of each of their hands and whispering, "I know."

They went back inside, greeting the last few people who had come. The boys made sure at least one of them was within arms length of her at all times. And in a short time, the proceedings were all over.

Long after the others had left, she stood above the hole in the ground. People probably lingered at gravesites like this all the time, but she knew this was different. Oddly, she wondered what exactly she should be feeling right now. There was none of the expected sadness, and the tiny piece of her that said she should be smug didn't get it's way. It was as if someone had taken that shovel and dug out the feeling part of her. Her dad lay dead in a hole at her feet and she felt... nothing. She felt she should say something, she once had a plan to really tell him off someday, probably with her soulmates in hand, and she felt a little cheated that she never got to give that speech. But she cast a glance over her shoulder at where her soulmates were speaking to the funeral director, and finally that smug satisfaction won out. She turned her head back to the grave.

"I got them. Despite all your efforts, I got them. Someday I might even tell them that. So I just hope you know that you lost. I'm going to be happy." It was all she had to say but as she left the words there and walked back across the graveyard she felt lighter than she ever had in her life.

 

-

 

"We don't have to do this, you know."

"I know." Shū let go of her death grip on the steering wheel and got out of the car. The two boys followed suit hesitantly, Tooru went and fetched the correct box out of the trunk.

"Are you sure-" Shū cut off their questions with a single look. She hated the pity in their eyes, the barely hidden fear behind their lashes. They knew exactly how much she wanted nothing to do with this situation. And Shū figured that they were probably  also feeding off her emotions through their soulmate connection, but they didn't know that. She tried to school her emotions back where they were supposed to be, purposefully putting up a mental wall in between the three of them. Then she turned her back on them and straightened her shoulders as she turned to face the house.

The house was massive, it was a traditional Japanese home, with a large arch in front and everything. Before she could bring herself to walk up to the door she glanced down at her outfit, smoothing her hands down over the grey skirt and the white dress jacket. Tooru had suggested that she dress up slightly and now, staring up at the imposing façade of the house, she was glad that she had.

After she rang the bell, there was a long, imposing minute where they waited until the door was opened gently. The woman who opened the door was white haired and had deep circles under her eyes that were well covered by makeup. Her eyes were an unusual color of blue, and they narrowed suspiciously at the sight of the three young people on her front step.

"Sakomoto-san?"

"Yes?" The woman answered back and Shū gestured slightly to encourage Tooru to come forward with the box.

"My name is Shiori. This is a box of things that were in the possession of Sakomoto Yuiji. They are things that I believe actually belong to you, or things that you may want. If you don't want them, you can throw them out." Shū schooled the anger out of her eyes as she took the box from Tooru and placed it on the porch between her and her grandmother. With a deep breath, she looked into those unfamiliar blue eyes and turned away.

"Shiori-chan!" The woman called out behind her but Shū kept walking. A tug on her hand stopped her and she turned only to follow the hand holding hers up into Tooru's brown eyes, she glanced over to Hajime before finally looking back to the porch. Her grandmother had moved around the box on the porch to follow her and stood there now, the look on her face conflicted. When Shū turned fully back to her, the woman gave a very hesitant smile. "Shiori-chan, would you like to have a cup of tea?"

A long silent moment passed between them, but it was Hajime who finally broke the silence. He went up to the steps and hefted the box they had come here to give. "Tea would be nice. Where would you like me to put this?" He answered in his usually gruff voice.

Tea was an awkward affair and Shū was so grateful for her soulmates in that time, Tooru had always been a charmer, his gift with words and easy smiles eased people into comfort and his charm was turned up 1000% as he spoke with Shū's grandmother.

"Would you like a tour of the grounds?" Sakamoto Yui was a beautiful woman with a poise that Shū had never seen in person but she remembered her dad saying that Shū had the same proud eyes. When he had said that it had been an insult but looking into those strong blue eyes Shū really couldn't bring herself to be offended. At the woman's offer to view the grounds both of her soulmates stiffened and looked to her, but she met their concerned looks with a soft one.

"You have horses, right? I'm sure both of you would enjoy going to take a look." When they cast her a look of askance she merely shook her head. "I, on the other hand, would love another cup of this tea." Her grandmother put on more tea before they all headed outside. Shū and her grandmother stayed on the porch with their tea in hand while the boys headed for the large coral that held several beautiful horses.

"They are good boys." Her grandmother said after a minute of watching the boys quietly joke around. Shū felt her gaze soften as she watched Hajime push Tooru forward only to catch the other boy's hand with his own when Tooru turned around to complain.

"Yeah. They're the best friends I could ask for."

"I realize I don't really have a right to ask for anything after all of these years, but they are your soulmates, aren't they?"

To Shū's credit she didn't even flinch when she was asked the question. She kept her eyes forward and watched as Tooru took a step away from a curious horse that stuck it's head over the fence. The tall boy practically hid behind Hajime as the horse nuzzled at the spiky-haired boy's palm.

"They don't know, do they?" At this question Shū finally turned back to look at the other woman's face.

"Sakomoto-san." Her grandmother flinched slightly at being called her family name, "You were right when you said you have no right to ask anything of me. But I am not ashamed, so yes. Tooru and Hajime are my soulmates. They both are. And no, they don't know. I haven't been ready to tell them, not yet anyway." The silence stretched in between them as Shū quickly finished her tea. When her cup was empty she finally turned back to the woman. "I don't hate you, you know. And I'm not asking for anything from you, I know that your husband thought that I would, but I'm actually doing very well. I have a job I love, I'm affording college on my own, living with the boys helps too, but I need you to know that I really did just come here to drop off that box. But it was nice to meet you anyway. Thanks for the tea." She handed the teacup back to the other woman and then left the porch to collect her boys. They stayed for a few more minutes, patting the horses that practically flocked around Shū when she arrived at the fence. Then they bowed to their host and left.

Shū didn't cry as they drove away and she didn't look back. The boys didn't ask her how her talk with her grandmother had gone and they put the entire encounter behind them.

 

-

 

As a set of car lights passed Shū flicked her gaze back to the backseat, getting a momentary look at the unconscious boys pressed into the car window and each other as they slept. Keeping the car had definitely been the right choice. Jazz music trickled in through the car's speakers and filled her in just the right way. There was still several hours of driving before they would reach Tokyo. Shū adjusted her grip on the steering wheel and glanced up into the night sky. It was one of those rare, clear nights where there were thousands of stars in the sky and that would be distracting if she wasn't so content to be watching the peaceful road in front of her. Something about this felt right, and she told herself that she'd take them on a road trip again some time; one where they could laugh and play pointless car games and fight over the music. It sounded like everything she wanted out of her life and she found herself vowing that she'd convince them to do it. Someday.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is hella short.

It was a cleaning day. Tooru took the cleaning days very seriously and would march around like a Commander directing his troops, both Hajime and Shū let him and were happy to follow his orders. Shū was balanced on the kitchen counter, cleaning the top shelves. The boys were also in the kitchen. Hajime was elbows deep in the oven and Tooru was staring at a pile of things that had come out of a cupboard that probably wouldn't all be able to fit back in.

"So," Shū started but didn't take her eyes off her task. "I've been lying to you guys ever since we first met." She felt their attention on her but didn't stop her cleaning or look at them. "It's something I want to work on, but is probably going to take me a while, so if you find that I'm saying stuff that contradicts what I said before..." she shrugged, "You can just ask me which parts are true or not. Sound fair?"

Finally she finished what she was doing and looked down, they were both staring up at her. Hajime had his lips drawn into a line, the crease on his forehead was sticking out. Tooru had his head tilted to the side, his mouth slightly open from having to crane his neck back to look at her.

"Fair?" She asked again and they both nodded slowly, but Tooru did what Tooru always does and pushed the subject.

"So what's the biggest lie you've told us?"

 _That I'm not your soulmate._ But she'd never actually said that, had she?  It was a weak excuse but she wasn't quite ready to bite that particular bullet. She thought it over for a minute.

" _I don't mind_." She quoted before she heaved herself down from the counter and turned to clean the counters she'd been standing on. "I told you that I don't mind when you drink. I do. I'm not saying that you should stop or change or anything. But... it does bother me. Probably a lot more than it should. I'm working on it."

"You're working on a lot of things, aren't you?"

"Yeah,  well... you guys make me feel safe enough to work on stuff. And you make me want to be better."

Tooru's face split into a wide grin, and Hajime gave one of his rare but perfect smiles. The words caught up to Shū and she suddenly felt uncharacteristically embarrassed so she shut her mouth and turned her attention to her next cleaning task.

 

-

 

"What happened to your hair?" Tooru blurted out the question loudly. The campus café was full of people and several people turned to look at them.

"Hi, Oikawa, it's nice to see you too." She returned his greeting sarcastically.

"But... Your hair!"

"You're supposed to say that it looks nice." Shū put on a fake pout as she reached up to touch the light coloured waves. Splurging on a trip to the hair studio had been the right choice, instead of dyeing it with a box dye like she usually did. "And for your information, this is what my hair is supposed to look like." He gaped at her. It was no wonder that he was surprised, she'd been dyeing her hair for years before she had even met him. When she was younger, her father would make nasty comments about it, and since it made him angry that her hair was like her mother's she had taken the habit of dyeing it a dark brown. Now, it was returned to it's natural state; light blondes mixing with slightly darker tones. The stylist had done wonders with it and she was very pleased with the result. For years now, she'd been looking in the mirror and not really recognizing the girl that looked back at her. It was like seeing her reflection properly for the first time. It felt right.

Tooru continued to stare at her until she started to feel nervous, and she tugged on a strand of her hair. "You don't like it?"

"No, no! I do!" Shū's smile returned instantly, even as Tooru continued to speak. "It's just so different. I was surprised. But it looks good. It suits you."

"Thanks. I have to run to class. I'll see you later?" He nodded and she was off, running across campus.

Later that night they were having their usual Friday hangout with the volleyball team group, and everyone kept staring. On request, she took the green beanie off her head so they could all take a good look at the results.

"I don't know what it is, but you look more like yourself now." Bokuto was the one who made the keen observation and took everyone by surprise. Shū found herself laughing at that.

"That's funny, because I feel more like myself too."

"Are you going to keep dyeing it like this?" Kuroo was the one who asked, and Shū vaguely wondered if he was asking because of his experience with Kenma dyeing his hair.

"Well, I think we'll have to wait and see. This is what my hair naturally looked like before, but I've been dyeing it for so long that it's hard to tell just what it will look like naturally now. Hopefully it will grow in similarly but who knows?"

The conversation and attention drifted off of her, but she caught herself smiling whenever she noticed the blonde hair out of the corners of her eyes.

 

It was the first of many changes that Shū made. Since her dad died, it seemed that everything in her life was an unknown. She carefully examined all the pieces that made up her being, and tossed aside all of the pieces that she had constructed for the façade of the daughter that she needed to be. Some things stayed; like her cooking abilities, but she added baking into the mix because Tooru liked sweets so much, the two of them spent many evenings making a mess of the kitchen, laughing and experimenting, adding chocolate to anything and always putting in more sugar than the recipe demanded. Hajime was always there to put out the fires they nearly started, or to scowl until they cleaned up the flour they had somehow gotten on the ceiling. He scolded them for using too much sugar, but would always eat part of what they had made anyway.

Shū kept running too. Though she had originally started running to keep out of the house and have an excuse to get out when she needed to, she found that it was a part of her now. Hajime would come on her morning runs a few times a week, but never on the weekend because Tooru would pout and complain if he didn't get cuddles on their days off.

The fear was the biggest thing she couldn't get rid of. Though she did try. She tried not to automatically look around the apartment to count empty bottles, she tried not to flinch when one of the boys would appear beside her unexpectedly, or when they would raise their hands when they were near her. She tried to keep the smile on her face when one of them had a beer in their hands. She tried not to flee the room when someone would raise their voice too much. The boys noticed all of those things, and they had been trying not to spook her; she could tell. But still, she tried. Her success was limited, but she did slowly feel that she was getting better, that there were fewer and fewer instances where she would feel afraid. It was no longer a regular occurrence that she would press herself into the space under the desk or in the closet or behind the bed. She hadn't brought her teeth down on the fleshy part of her hand in a long time; the defensive coping mechanism wasn't needed.

It was a slow process, but eventually she started to feel like herself. Like the person that she believed in and wanted to be. And as she came into that person, she felt much more keenly that there was a large piece of herself that was missing. A piece that only her soulmates could fill.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's making a proper appearance? Oya Oya Oya?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soulmarks-   
> Hajime is bold, Tooru is Bold and Italics. Shu is Italics

"Can I borrow this?" The boys didn't glance away from their video game as they called out an automatic agreement. Tooru flicked his eyes over to see her holding up a soulmate marker. The controller fell from his grip as he turned around on the couch violently.

"Wait, are you going to-"

"Thanks." She interrupted him and quickly hustled out of the room to shut her door firmly.

At dinner two sets of eyes stared at her expectantly. The unasked question hung heavy in between them, but she was loath to bring it up. Several times as they ate Tooru opened his mouth to say something before closing it with an audible click.

"So, um." They jumped. Shū had expected this reaction from Tooru but it was almost funny to see the excited expectant look in Hajime's eyes. "I'd like to keep that pen for a while if that's okay."

"It is." Hajime said and Tooru nodded eagerly.

"Thanks. And thanks for dinner." She said and put her plate in the dishwasher and ignored Tooru's sound of protest when she retreated back to her room.

 

A few days later the pen still sat untouched and she had no answers for why it was so hard to use it. She'd taken to staring at the pen like it would come alive and attack her at any moment. Finally she left it on the desk and went out to the main room. She uncapped three beers from the fridge and stood in front of the TV.

Complaints died half way off tongues as she held two bottles out to them and pressed the other to her lips.

It wasn't that she never drank, but she typically avoided it unless someone pressed the drink into her hands at a party or social event. There was no denying if she was going to do this she was going to need one.

The boys each took a beer cautiously, Tooru turned the sound on the TV almost all the way down.

"I need to ask you guys a question, may I?"

Tooru started to make a joke but Hajime smacked the back of his head.

"Sure."

They were sitting on the couch so she perched on the edge of the coffee table across from them.

"Okay. Hypothetically. And after I ask this, let's be adults and not be weird about it, okay?"

The two exchanged a look, a shrug, and a drink all while perfectly in sync. She took it as a yes anyway.

"Hypothetically. Let's pretend that soulmates are not a thing. They don't exist. No writing on arms. No fate. Nothing." They nodded to indicate that they were following her though Tooru had a look of distaste on his face.

"Right. So the world is exactly the same. You two meet when you're kids, catch bugs, play volleyball, go to school together," confusion was in both their eyes but she continues her list, "insult each other, spend all your time together, fall in love... Then you meet me." She could see that they were lost but she pressed on. "You meet me. You have each other and you're happy. You're not waiting for another soulmate." This time she waited until they both nodded slowly. "Would you go out with me?"

"What are you-" Tooru trailed off as Shū just kept looking at them with serious eyes. The silence fell heavy and she'd normally try to dissolve it and make a quick exit, but this was too important. The only move anyone made was Shū tipping the alcohol through her lips again.

"I mean..." Hajime's voice finally cut through the silence, and he rubbed at the back of his neck. "It's hard to imagine. But obviously we're open to a third person in this relationship. So what you're asking is- if we weren't waiting for a specific soulmate, right?"

She nodded, trying to use her sheer willpower to keep the tears out of her eyes and the fear out of her stomach. Tooru was the one who eventually answered.

"Well, then, yeah."

"What?" She jerked her eyes to Tooru who looked just as awkward as Hajime.

"We like you. You're our best friend, you know? And we both think you're attractive." Her cheeks turned uncharacteristically red at that. Hajime picked up where Tooru left off but wouldn't meet her gaze.

"We've actually talked about how great it would be if our soulmate was you. I mean, we were younger, but we did talk about it."

"Oh." Relief hit her hard and fast. A giggle escaped and they both jerked their eyes from the carpet to her. Fingers were pressed over her lips but they did nothing to stop the giggles from turning into full laughter.

"Ah. My boys." She said and threw herself in between them on the couch so she could wrap an arm around each of them. She held both boys around the neck, keeping them pinned even though they struggled. She ignored their protests and flailing. Laughter covered the tears that fell down her face, and the way she had them head-locked, they couldn't see.  After a minute she released them and stood up, she collected her beer from the table and turned back to them just enough that they could see her grin.

"Thanks boys. I feel better now."

When she went back in her room, the pen didn't seem quite so scary.

 

 

Three weeks later she was sitting in the university library, on the top floor near the biggest window. It was a nice spot and was the best place she could think of to do this. The coffee she'd been neglecting was cold now, and the night was wearing into the quiet hours. 12:31. There were still plenty of students milling about but she'd chosen this spot because it was a "Do not disturb" area. Doing this in public might not be a good idea but it was the best one she had.

She took a large gulp of the cold coffee and then pushed up her sleeve.

_Let's play a game of ten questions._

Her words were out of the blue, it had been almost a year since the last time she'd written to them, but she barely had to wait for a reply.

**You mean we each get to ask ten questions?**

**_Any questions at all?_ **

_There are a couple I can't answer yet, but yes._

**_Okay!_ **

**Sure. You first.**

She nibbled on her lip, it was always better to start small in things like this.

_1- If you could have one superpower?_

**Strength**

**_You're such a brute._ ** **_~_ **

**Shut up. Answer the question.**

She smiled at their bickering, loving that even though they were probably right next to each other, they were including her in their conversation.

**_Flight. But like... *space* flight._ **

_Adorable._ Then she drew an arrow to both of their answers.

**_You're making him blush!~ Can I go next?_ **

_Yeah._

**_1-What's your gender?_ **

_Biologically Female. It's your turn Hajime._

**1.Are you safe?** Trust Hajime to ask the big questions in such small ways.

_I am now._

_2.Are you disappointed? That I'm female, I mean._

**No.**

**_Not at all._ **

**_2-Do you go to university?_ **

_Yes._

**2.Which one?**

She knew they were testing the limits of how much she would tell them, but she was trying to tell them the truth, so unless it was her name, she'd decided to answer everything she could.

_Tokyo University._

**_No way! Us too!_ **

_My turn. 3.Tooru- how's your knee?_

**_Ah. It's a lot better. Iwa-chan takes such good care of me, like a mom._ **

**Don't.**

**_3-Would you agree to meet us?_ **

_Not yet._

**3.Is this still okay? We don't want to overwhelm you or anything.**

Shū smiled. Hajime was so serious about things like this, but it came out so gentle and sweet. The teasing thought came naturally and she started to scribble down her answer as Tooru wrote down exactly what she was thinking.

**_Iwa-chan is such a…_ **

**Don't.**

**_A mom! ~_** _(_ _ﾉ_ ◕ヮ◕ _)_ _ﾉ_ _*:_ _･ﾟ_ ✧

 _A mom!_ ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

**God, not you too.**

_Thank you for being considerate. I can't tell you how much I need that. But I am fine. I'll let you know if I'm not._

**_Ok_ ** **_! ~_ **

**Good.**

_4.Biggest dream growing up?_

**_Be an astronaut. or get abducted by aliens._ **

_Wow. Hajime?_

**Idk. Probably just the typical "family, job, big house, with a dog" thing.**

_Adorable._

After a moment she smiled and wrote her next sentence in much smaller letters, like a secret.

_(Tooru. Is Hajime blushing?)_

He wrote back in letters just as small.

( ** _He is! He is!)_**

**I can literally read those words too, you know. Idiots.**

**_Chikara-chan why is Iwa-chan so mean!???_ **

_You probably usually deserve it though... Trashykawa.~_

**_Nooooo!! You can't tease us both! Choose a side!_ **

_Never._

**_4_ ** **_-_ ** **_What's yours?_ **

_??_

**_Biggest childhood dream._ **

_Probably it was to meet you, my soulmates._

**4.Why didn't you?**

_I'll to tell you all about it someday, just... not yet. I didn't answer that, do you want another question?_

**I'm satisfied with the answer you gave.**

_5.What's the one thing you don't think you could live without? (People and volleyball don't count)_

**I guess... my phone?**

**_All forms of social media._ **

**Trashykawa, shouldn't you be saying a mirror?**

**~ _rude_** **_I_ ** **_wa-chan! Though you're not really wrong._ **

**_I've got a good one!_ **

**_5-_ ** **_Would you have ever told us that you exist?_ **

Shū bit her lip. Anxiety started to curl in her guts, the questions heading where she had known that they would, but they pushed her into a place where she was definitely uncomfortable, but she took a deep breath and answered the question as honestly as she could.

_I don't know. Probably not. Like... I always wanted to but then I didn't want to fuck up your life, you know? You guys were happy before you found out about me._

**My turn. 5.Do you regret us  finding out?**

_No. Honestly I... without you two finding out I probably wouldn't be here right now. So no, I don't regret it._

**_What do you mean?_ **

_I think you know what I mean._

**Tell us anyway.**

_It was my turn you know._ They seemed to be waiting for her answer though so she sighed and wrote out the next words carefully, cursing herself for promising to be honest.

 _Don't be mad._ _There was... A lot of shit going on. And I wasn't handling it well._

The sick feeling in her guts threatened to overtake her, but she kept writing.

_Did you know there are ways to die that your soulmate won't feel it? I know because I did some research_ _, and maybe had a plan_ _. But then... you found out about me. I met you. And I stopped planning._

**Are you getting help?**

_I wasn't exactly depressed, you know? I just had a reason that I didn't want to live. I found a better reason TO live. I'm okay now._

**_Does anyone around you know?_ **

_You're definitely not following the rules of the game now. And no. I've never told anyone else._

**_We should meet._ **

Pressure built in her guts, the anxiety bubbling up and making her heart race. She felt heat rising into her face and her throat seemed to close up. All of the sudden this was too much for her.

_You know, I think I may be done with this for today. Sorry that I made the mood all heavy and stuff. I'll write to you again soon, okay?_

**Don't go.**

**_Hang on, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to push._ **

_You didn't. It's fine. But it's late and we should all be getting some sleep._

_Goodnight, Hajime.  Goodnight, Tooru._

Shū pushed her sleeves back down firmly, ignoring the tingle along her skin that meant that they were replying to her. A student happened to be walking past and jumped when her head slammed into the desk and she groaned loudly.  Anxiety cut through her deeply and she clutched her arms to her stomach like she could press out the feeling. Half an hour later she still had her face buried in the desk when the chair across from her pulled out and a body fell into it.

She turned her head to peer out one eye.

"This is the "Do not disturb" section." She informed the small man who didn't bother to look up from his game. It was a surprise to see him here on a weekday, even though he'd been working as a librarian here since the beginning of the year, he was still a third year in high school so he usually only worked the weekends.

"It's not the "fall asleep here" section." Kenma's rebuttal was quiet but his words were sharp.

"You're telling me you're actually doing your job?" The librarian spared her a small glance over his busy fingers and then shrugged. When he refused to respond again she turned her forehead back into the desk but slid a hand over the desk to barely hook on one of his sleeves. He didn't seem bothered by the ghosting of contact and let her stay like that. With how quiet the boy typically was, she hadn't been expecting him to be the one to break the silence.

"What's wrong?"

"I made my soulmate upset again."

"Again? I heard you didn't talk to them."

"This was our second real conversation."

"Didn't go well?"

Shū barked out a bitter laugh. "They think I need professional help."

"Do you?"

She groaned at the way his soft voice made the question sound so innocent.

"Why do I talk to you?"

"Because we're similar." That was true, and it was the reason that they got along quite well, even though he was typically so much quieter than she was.

"I'm distressed. Comfort me!"

"You're acting like the Royal Three." The Royal Three was a running joke for Kuroo,  Bokuto, and Oikawa, because they were such huge drama queens about everything. And she found herself smiling at the truth of being compared to them right now.

"I can do the whine too, if you want." She offered, the joke coming to her lips easily.

"No." He said but after a moment the buttons stopped clicking and a small hand came to rest on her head. His fingers were light and she didn't even flinch away from his touch. He pet her gently for a long minute and tears welled up in her eyes.

"I fucked up." She whispered, but she wasn't sure if the words were for him or just so she could say them. "I should have just written to them when I was a kid. Or when I was older. And now it's just... It's so fucking hard."

"Just tell them."

"I can't. They'll hate me."

"They already love you." Bitterness rose up in her throat at his words.

"You don't know that. Just because we're soulmates does not mean-"

"Not because you're soulmates. Because that's how they look at you."

Shū went rigid under his fingers. His quiet voice held a confidence that it rarely did and she quickly tried to deny what he was saying.

"That's not-"

"Of course it is." Kenma's usually quiet voice was unwavering and she felt her own confidence fading in front of the way he easily stated the truth.

"How did you know?"

"Who else could it be? And you might not be able to see it but the way the three of you look at each other is the same. You have this weird understanding of each other. Obvious really."

"Obvious to you, or obvious to humans?"

"Fine, I'll stop being nice." He started to draw his hand away and she spoke in a rush.

"Please-don't-leave-I'm-sorry." The boy huffed in annoyance but didn't go, and brought his hand back to her light-colored hair. A long moment passed between them. Shū found the moment comforting in a way and decided that now that he knew about her soulmates, that gave her permission to at least ask about his.

"Hey. You don't have to talk about it, but what's up with your soulmate?"

The boy tsked softly and there was the sound of him taking his phone from his pocket.

"I met them. They didn't know. They said they didn't like the idea of soulmates. They're seeing someone else. We still mark occasionally." Shū winced at the slightly harsh tone to his words that betrayed the bored way he tried to say them.

"That sucks man."

"Man?"

"Dude." She corrected and looked up to see his face curled in displeasure.

"No."

"My bro?"

"Please stop."

So she did and a comfortable silence settled between them, only broken by the soft clicking of Kenma on his phone. Another long silence passed before she spoke again.

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Not really. I think they don't know anyway, and others suspect it maybe but in like a teasing wild theory way."

"What am I going to do?"

"Talk to them."

"I'm not ready."

"Then take your time. They've been waiting all this time already, they can wait a little longer."

"Mmmm. You give really good advice, you know that?"

"I'm very helpful."

"I can see that. The petting is nice too."

He hummed and after a moment of looking out the large window he replied, "There's one more thing I'm good at."

Shū felt the smile on her face instantly, and turned her face to glance up at him.

"If you were literally anyone else, that would sound really suggestive you know."

He huffed at that and they both ignored the sudden redness in his cheeks.

"I _meant_ I have a good SOS contact."

"Hm?"

But before he could answer a loud call rang across this whole floor of the library.

"Oyaoya?"

Shū turned to see a familiar mess of black hair bounding up the steps and striding over confidently.

"Oh no. You didn't."

"What's this? Kenma is being nice?" Kuroo let out a wild chuckle but his eyes were taking in the scene with something similar to concern. Kenma finally pulled his hand away from Shū's head and picked up his game again.

"Well, I'm going back to work."

"Kenma, you jerk! Don't abandon me to this guy!" Shū said, reaching to grab him but he was just out of reach.

"Excuse me." He said softly and started his quick shuffle away.

"Hey, Kenma." This time she called softly and he paused to glance back at her. "Thanks. I owe you one. Next game you want, I'm buying, okay?"

"Okay." He mumbled and then was gone.

Finally, Shū turned her eyes up to meet Kuroo's. Those intelligent eyes seared into her and she opted for returning to groaning into the desk. The large man flopped into the seat next to her.

"Kenma doesn't use his SOS message very often. And he doesn't try to comfort others... Ever. So, what's up?"

"I screwed up and I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright." He put his chin in his hand and tilted his head at her. "Is this a 'drink until you can't remember it' kind of a problem, or a 'go home and sleep it off' kind of a problem?"

"I don't like to drink away my problems."

"Okay, so home it is. Well... unless it's not."

"Man, and Kenma said you were going to be helpful."

He released a small cackle.

"Well I'm assuming that this has to do with Pretty Boy and The Arms otherwise you wouldn't be here."

The nicknames struck her just the right away and she struggled to hold back her giggles.

"I guess it sort of does have to do with them."

"I have an old, coffee-stained couch you could stay on."

She cast him a suspicious glance.

"All because Kenma called in an SOS?"

"Nah. Because you're a friend. And it sounds like you could use a place to crash."

"I'd say yes if it wasn't going to be the weekend tomorrow and I didn't think your soulmate would murder me in my sleep."

"He's not that bad!" The look she gave him was enough of an answer apparently because he let loose a loud laugh. "Okay, he is. But he'll be fine with it. It's just a matter of if you're okay with it." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Since he can only be here some weekends, we tend to get a little loud."

"Ew. No. I should probably just go home at that rate."

"Come on. I'll take you there."

Shū pressed her forehead back in to the desk, arms still pressed in over her stomach. The anxiety was still running wild  through her system, pounding at her skull and stirring up her guts. Nausea swept over her just at the thought of the walk home.

"It's fine. I'll go in a little bit. I'm not sure I can move at the moment."

"I could carry you." He said it like a joke but she turned to him to return his mischievous smile.

"Now that's the best idea I've heard all night."

As soon as she was situated on his back, he turned back slightly, his voice low.

"Is this okay? With your touch aversion, I mean."

"I... oh." Of course Kuroo would notice, observant bastard. "Yeah. Yeah. It's not that bad, I'm usually okay as long as I know that the contact is coming, you know?"

Kuroo nodded and set off down the library steps.

They waved at Kenma as they left, or rather, Shū waved from Kuroo's back and Kuroo just nodded because his hands were under her thighs.

Even though Kuroo's muscular arms displayed his obvious strength Shū had still expected Kuroo to struggle with her weight  at least a little but he moved as if there wasn't a muscular young woman clinging to his back. The cold night air was refreshing at first, and then it pricked at her face and invited her tears to start falling. Kuroo ignored her face pressed into his shoulder and the small patch of wetness that was growing on his shirt under her eyes. After a minute, he cleared his throat and started a conversation that she hadn't expected.

"I mean, I said me and Kei were loud but you probably are used to that, right?"

A sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob came out her mouth but she appreciated the small talk and focused on it instead of her tears.

"God, are we really having this conversation?"

"Oh, come on. Everyone can tell that Oikawa is a screamer. Though I think Iwaizumi probably is one too."

She laughed into his shoulder. "I'm really going to regret telling you this, aren't I?"

"Definitely."

 _Ah, what the hell._ She thought and indulged him.

"It's no surprise that Tooru is loud in bed but the big surprise is that even though Hajime is typically a man-of-few-words, he could easily out dirty-talk anyone. Ever. He's seriously creative. And he's really freaking loud about it."

Kuroo chuckled at that.

"Should have known. It's always the quiet ones. So, what's their like, weird thing?"

"I'm definitely going to regret telling you this. When they know I'm home, they put on really loud action movies. Like.. Explosions, people dying and being tortured and stuff."

He chuckled a little. "Why?"

"I think they think that I'll think the... Sounds. Are from the movie."

"No way."

"Lord of the Rings is their favorite right now. Lots of orcs grunting and screaming and stuff."

She could feel his shoulders hitch from the laugh he wasn't releasing before he asked his next question. "Don't you love those movies?"

"I did. Almost asked to watch with them. But seriously, you can only hear the same battle scene so many times before you know which screams are coming from the movie and which are not."

That got him. Kuroo laughed so hard he had to stop walking for a minute to catch his breath. His wild laugh was too contagious and Shū found herself giggling right along. Once he got himself under control he continued walking but didn't drop the subject.

"Okay, but who has the daddy kink?"

"Ugh. Why do you assume-"

"There's always a daddy kink."

"Well, it's good to know that you have one."

"Of course I do, it's hot as fuck."

Shū made a face even though he couldn't see it. "It's not like I sit around listening to them have sex, you know."

"Maybe you should. It's probably sexy as hell."

"God." She buried her face back in his shoulder. "Why are we talking about this again?"

"Because talking about their sex habits is a simple but satisfying revenge against people that made you upset."

"I make myself upset, they just happen to be involved."

"Whatever it is, you're probably just making it worse by overthinking it."

She perked up at that, leaning slightly to look at his profile.

"What? You give out good advice now, Tetsurou?"

"Oh ho! First names! Does this mean we're good friends now?" He glanced at her and they exchanged a conspiratorial smile.

"I feel like there's some sort of large catch to being good friends with you, though."

"That's rude! I happen to be a very generous soul."

 She chuckled but placed her head back on his shoulder. The anxiety was finally draining out of her system, and it left exhaustion in it's wake. The pounding behind her eyes finally forced them shut and she focused on the sway of the warm, muscled back beneath her.

She must have dozed off because the next thing she knew there was a loud thumping followed by Kuroo's voice calling out.

"I've got a delivery for 'Two Idiot Bestfriends'!"

"Shut up, Kuroo." She mumbled, or maybe just thought as she gripped him a little tighter. Sleep fogged her mind heavily and her headache came back in full force and made it hard to follow what was going on around her.

"What do you want, Kuroo? Oh!" Oikawa stopped his protests as soon as he opened the door and saw Shū draped over Kuroo's back. "What happened?"

"Kenma called me to pick her up from the library and now here we are. One exhausted college student for you, that'll be 5000 yen."

Strong arms wrapped around her and started to pull her away from her perch. Panic hit her sleep addled brain and she grabbed a fistful of Kuroo's jacket, opening her eyes just enough to see what was going on. When she looked up and saw Hajime's tan face framing his kind green eyes, she relaxed, releasing Kuroo and going limp in Hajime's arms. Strong arms cradled her close to his warm chest.

"Thanks, Tetsu." She mumbled, just loud enough for them to hear before she pressed her face into Hajime's chest.

"Anytime." And if his reply sounded a little softer than usual, it was probably just because of the sleep causing a haze in her brain. She was only vaguely aware of Hajime walking down the hall and of the voices that lingered in the entryway.

"I'm tired." The words slipped out of her lips.

"I know. I'm taking you to your bed."

"No, like... I'm _really_ tired. An' my head hurts. An' I'm just... so damn tired."

Soft blankets swallowed her but she nearly whimpered at the sudden loss of the heat she was being enveloped in. A calloused hand brushed hair from her face and she managed to open her eyes a slit.

"I'll get you some medicine for your head."

But she was asleep before he came back, before Tooru gently tucked her in, and before they each squeezed her hand before turning off the light and leaving her to her dreams.

 

The clock by the bed read 7:01 when Shū opened her eyes. Normally she'd already be out for her morning run, but today felt like an exception. She crawled out of bed just long enough to retrieve her phone and her soulmate pen from her bag that had been dropped by the door. She seriously owed Tetsurou now, and her boys would be looking for an explanation but she figured that could all wait an hour. This couldn't.

 _Good morning._ It was the first time she'd ever written a good morning message. Also the first time she'd ever written two days in a row. Probably a lot of different first times were about to happen though so she didn't get hung up on it.

_I'm sorry for running away last night. I'm not very good at this yet, I promise I am trying to get better. I hope you won't give up on me. I'm still here, I still want to be here, if you still want me to be._

She closed the pen and her eyes, and woke an hour later to the sound of an overly cheerful alarm that made her want to dropkick the phone into next week. An equally cheerful but much more pleasant sound was coming from the kitchen and she forced herself to go investigate.

A familiar voice was pitched up in a  lilt, catching a tune about rainy skies, though the sun shone clear through the windows. It had been a while since Shū had hard Tooru sing, and she'd never heard it like this. The tall boy bustled about the kitchen, the smells of eggs and coffee filtering the air around his song. Hajime sat at the table, and from here she could only see just barely enough of his face to see the light smile on his lips. The air felt like happiness, and the content feeling easily spread to her. It was one of those moments that you wish would just stretch in to eternity. When Tooru went from singing to humming wordlessly she announced her presence with a quiet,

"Mornin'."

Both boys turned to her, Hajime returned her greeting with a wordless sound before Tooru spoke up.

"Shū-chan, you're still here? What about your morning run?"

"Gross." The response was both a feeling and the only thing her brain  supplied her with.

Hajime quirked an eyebrow up at her, "Want some coffee?"

"Definitely." They watched her curiously as she gathered, and then sat down with, the cup of dark liquid. She normally put almost as much 'sugary shit' in it as Tooru, but this morning it was just as dark as Hajime's own cup.

"Black?" Hajime inquired.

"Like my soul." She replied without thought, and realized right then that her mental filter didn't seem to be working today. The emotional rush and anxiety from yesterday had pushed her over the edge. But she saw the look that the boys passed to each other.

"Want some eggs?" Tooru asked.

"Gross." She replied, her brain seeming to think that one word was the answer for everything right now. "Oh!" She perked up and they looked at her curiously. "Man, do we have any of those things? The round things that you like that go in the toaster."

"Eggo's?"

"Yeah, those things!"

"I think we have some still."

"Can I have some?"

"Sure. They'll be in the freezer." She popped up from her seat and when she found what she was looking for she quickly put it in the toaster, sitting back down while she waited.

"Hey, don't you have an early class today?" Tooru asked as he served the eggs for himself and Hajime.

"Eh. Never skipping your early morning classes is for suckers." She growled the words into her coffee and almost missed the way both boys eyebrow's quirked.

Hajime put down his chopsticks and stretched out a hand to her.

"I don't think we've met, I'm Iwaizumi Hajime."

The joke hit her just the right way, with his completely serious delivery and Tooru's slightly confused expression beside him. The laughter almost bubbled up in her gut but she pushed it down, giving her own serious face as she shook his hand.

"I assume because we're dwelling in the same space that we've met before, but I appreciate it all the same. I had not known that this human had a family, so the introduction was helpful. And you are?" She turned to Tooru, who had gone slack-jawed and eyed her out stretched hand with large, wary eyes.

"Eh?" He squeaked, and the sound pushed her over the edge. Laughter erupted out of her almost violently and she struggled to bring it back under control. Hajime fell into a chuckle right along with her, while Tooru went from confused to indignant when he realized that they were laughing at him.

"I'm sorry," Shū wheezed, "but, your face!"

"Don't laugh at me! You were too serious! Both of you. I can't tell if you're joking when you use an expression like that! Besides," He muttered when her laughter had subdued, "you weren't acting like yourself."

She prepared and ate her food in silence for a moment before answering. "When was the last time we actually saw each other in the morning, though?"

They thought about it and seemed to realize that it had only happened a handful of times, and not at all while in this apartment.

"That's so weird."

"What's that?" She asked as she finished her breakfast and took to the dish to the sink.

"That there are still sides of you that we don't know."

Shū felt herself tense up and was glad that her back was turned to them as she wiped the tortured expression off her face.

"It's not that surprising. I'm sure there's a lot of things we don't know about each other." She tried to make the words come out light but they didn't. "Like, what were you two so cheerful about this morning?"

The change of subject was the right choice. Tooru banged his hand on the table loudly.

"Oh! Look, look!" She turned to see him pushing his wrist up towards her face. "We got a good morning message!"

She pretended to read it. "That's great, you guys. I'm so happy for you. You must be ecstatic."

Tooru nodded his head about a dozen times but it was Hajime's soft tone that answered.

"We are."

A painful stab of guilt went through her as it always did when they told her about their soulmate, but that didn't stop her from sitting down and opening her mouth.

"So what's this about last night?"

"Oh! We talked to her!"

"Her?" Hajime nodded the affirmative. Anyone else would probably think his face was neutral right now, but she could see the crinkle around his eyes and the slight flush under his cheekbones. They were over the moon. An all too familiar press of guilt clenched the bottom of her throat.

"So, I'm guessing from your sparkling eyes that it went well?"

"Yes! Well, sort of. Actually, it didn't end on a good note. But! Then we got this! So it wasn't as bad as we thought!" Tooru explained with a grand display of emotion.

Shū very carefully kept her smile in place for them.

"That's great!"

"How's it going with your soulmate?" Tooru asked, his casual tone not matching the interest in his eyes.

"Well, I should probably not be late to my next class." She said and quickly went back to her room to get ready.

 

It was a few days later that Shū found herself staring at her arms. The familiar curving lines were back, the doodle decorated a good section of her one arm. It was one of those things that never failed to bring a smile to her face, the small tingle of the writings would glide across her skin for long minutes, and even though it was forming under her sleeves, she still knew exactly what was happening. So when she was at home alone, stuck staring at a half-finished research paper, she pulled up her sleeve to see the small abstract masterpiece. It was beautiful in it's own messy way, but she still didn't know who drew it. Whoever it was, the other one never commented on it, and somehow she could picture it being either one of them. She could see Tooru fiddling a pen in his hand, his eyes half-closed in boredom, or Hajime staring at it intently with that small crease forming between his eyebrows as he scribbled it out. The past few years she had tried to figure it out without asking, much to her own frustration when neither of them would draw while she was there. Today felt like a good day to finally get an answer to the question she'd been wondering about for the last 10 years.

 _6.Which one of you makes these?_ She drew a handful of arrows over to the elegant swirls and turned back to her paper. The boys would be at volleyball practice right now, so she didn't get a reply right away. Another page was finished on her paper when she finally felt the tingle of a reply and she watched the lines form across her arm. The thick, swooping lines appeared- much further apart than the swirls from earlier.

 **This is me.** Hajime replied. But before she could reply smaller lines started to appear in between the others, delicate curls wrapping amid the other open spaces. And the smaller curves had been drawn in blue ink instead of their normal black.

 ** _And this is me._** Tooru added once he'd finished filling in the spaces in the drawing.

_I should have known. You two complete each other so well._

**_There's still space for someone else to leave their marks too, you know._ **

Shū couldn't help but smile at that.

_That was smooth af._

**_Of course it was, Chikara-chan! I'm great!~_ **

_I can tell by the way your soulmate's endearing nickname for you is shittykawa._

**_RUDE!_ **

**Do you have time to stay and talk with us for a bit?**

_Yeah._

**Shall we go back to playing the game?**

**_What question are we on?_ **

_6, and it's your turn, Tooru._

**_6-I asked you before if you would agree to meet us. But what I should have asked was- Do you want to meet us?_ **

_Very much so._ Shū didn't even have to hesitate to write the answer. Though she knew that she was being contradictory by saying that but still holding back so much but she had to ease herself into this. She only hoped that they would understand that. A pause followed and she could only imagine the boys deciding what to ask next.

**6-What's the one thing you want to do when you get some time to yourself?**

_Free time? What's that? lol. I like to read. And music. I could sit listening to music and not doing anything else for days._

_7._ With only three questions left, she figured it was time to ask the important things. _Are you mad that it's taken me so long to write to you?_

**No.**

**_We don't understand. But we once had a good friend tell us that your situation was obviously unusual, and that you probably had a good reason for not telling us about you. We want to know. But we're waiting for you to tell us. We're willing to wait until you're ready to tell us._ **

_Thank you._

They had to take a minute to wipe off the ink on their arms so that they could continue.

**_7-Are you planning to meet us?_ **

_Yes. How could I genuinely resist meeting you when you've both been so... You. So kind._

**_Not to mention that we're both ve~ery good looking. You should see Iwa-chan's blush in person._ **

**Shut up, you. You're the one whose face everyone goes crazy for.**

**_Okay, WE'RE very attractive. ~_ **

_lol. I know, I know._

**7-Would you be more comfortable if there was just one of us, like to meet at first maybe?**

_Honestly, when I was younger... The fact that there are two of you was kind of a problem for me. But things are different now. And I love it. I really, really do. I'm so glad that there are two of you, and I think that you are both wonderful._

_8.Am I intruding on things between the two of you?_

**_Neither of us think of it that way. We want to meet you. We want to know you. After that, we can decide, all of us can decide together what we want to be._ **

**_8.Do you think you want us to be Romantic soulmates?_ **

_I... I don't know. Maybe. Yes. If that's what you want. But like you said... We can decide together what we want to be._

**8-Why now? After all this time, you're finally talking to us. Finally wanting to meet us. Why now?**

Shū bit her lip and chose her words carefully.

_I was afraid. For a long time. But that fear is starting to go away, and I don't want to keep pushing you away anymore._

_9.Do you, both of you, want to meet me?_

**_Of course! We always have!_ **

**How could we not, now that we've spoken to you?**

**_9- I just realized you called us attractive earlier. How do you know that?_ **

Shū cursed herself silently, looking over at her arms to find the sentence that gave her away, a lie came to mind immediately and she hurriedly jotted it down.

_I mean... I know your names. And I... kind of figured that I'd find you anywhere there was volleyball._

**9.Have we met?**

Shū didn't reply for a long time. The silence answered for her but neither of them responded in those minutes. A breath rushed out of her lungs and she pinched at the bridge of her nose, before finally bringing the marker back to her skin.

_Yeah. We have._

_10.Would you give up on me, on waiting for me and everything, either ever or if I asked you to?_

**No.**

**_Even if you asked us to... No._ **

**Even if you never spoke to us again, we'd keep waiting for you to. Especially Oikawa. He'd get all stubborn about it.**

**_Yeah. I would. But so would Iwa-chan. If you decide you don't want to meet us, there's nothing we can do to find you or track you down. (Trust me, we would have done so long ago.) But I would always be hoping you'd come around._ **

**_10-How long? You said we met each other, but how long ago was that?_ **

_I won't lie to you, Tooru. It's been a while. And I've had several opportunities to tell you, and I haven't. And that's unfair of me. And I'm sorry._

**10.Will you run away again, now that we've asked our last question?**

_No. Not this time. Not anymore._

**Let's pick a time and place to meet. You don't have to come. But I want you to. I hope that you will.**

**_Me too.  I hope that you'll be there._ **

Shū bit lightly at her lip. Despite everything that they had said, and the reassurances that they gave that they weren't mad, she was certain that they would be livid. They'd be upset with her for not telling them for all of these years. For giving them advice about herself. They could say that they wouldn't be mad, but this was nothing like meeting a stranger who hadn't talked to you; this was finding out that your best friend had lied to you since they'd all met.

_Okay. But let me choose the time and place._

**_Okay!!_ **

**No problem.**

_I'll get back to you about the details, okay?_

When they agreed, she went to the bathroom and washed her arms free of all the ink. Then she sat down in front of her computer to do some research and make some plans. By the time the boys had come home, most of her few belongings were packed into suitcases and tucked behind her closet doors. The books were the biggest problem; she'd been non-stop collecting since she'd moved out of her dad's place and now had quite the collection of worn-out, second-hand pieces of glorious fiction. She promised that she'd get some boxes tomorrow.

The boys came back in a flurry of energy and loud voices, like they often did after practice.

"Shū-chaaaaan!" Tooru banged his fist on her bedroom door, then tried to open it. When he was met with the locked door he squawked in protest. It was usually wide open, and she almost never actually slid the lock into place. "Iwa-chan! Shū-chan shut me out!" His voice was muffled by the barrier of wood in between them.

"Maybe she's had enough of you barging in on her like you own the place, Shittykawa."

"Rude, Iwa-chan! That's not it! I even brought her a crepe!"

Shū opened the door, and slid into the hallway. "Did my favourite roommate say something about crepes?"

"Hah!" Tooru goaded in Hajime's direction as he handed over the wrapped chocolate and strawberry crepe with a dramatic flourish. "See, at least someone appreciates me!"

As soon as the crepe was safely in her grip she turned to Hajime and said, "Don't worry, babe, you know that you own my heart in all ways other than crepe ways."

Tooru huffed out his cheeks adorably and Hajime rolled his eyes, presumably at them both. The friendly flirting between the three of them had become an easy baseline to fall into, it was these little nameless moments that none of them took seriously. It was comfortable, and it felt somewhere in between innocent and safe. Shū tried to swallow the sudden sense of loss that she felt knowing that they would most likely lose this very soon. She shut her bedroom door behind her securely before taking her snack to the table. Of course, she didn't miss the lingering, curious look that Tooru cast at the door; she usually left the door open, and he was perceptive enough that he would never have missed a detail like that, but she did it on purpose so that he would notice. Shū ignored his curious gaze and took her crepe to the table, unwrapping it like a treasure and sighing through the first mouthful of perfection.

"Mmm. I'm almost afraid to ask what prompted this sudden act of generosity."

"We stopped for crepes on the way home. I brought you one because I'm very generous."

"Sure, sure." She said dismissively as Hajime started making tea and Tooru sat down next to her. "But why did  you even stop for crepes?"

Tooru let out a light hum at that and the silence that fell across the room was a comfortable one even though they hadn't answered her question. When she thought about it, she knew it was probably because of the rare conversation that they'd had with her, with their soulmate, that had put him in such a good mood. Tooru usually wanted to tell her all about soulmate things, so the fact that he didn't tell her about it now left an odd lump in her throat. It was definitely silly to be jealous of herself, but she couldn't help the way that she felt shut out in that moment.

Suddenly she found her eyes taking in the full picture of the apartment. The three of them had made it a home; there were curtains that were different from the ones that Tooru wanted because Hajime and Shū had out-voted him. The plates came from Hajime's parents, and the dozen mismatched mugs came from Shū and Tooru's trips to various coffee shops and second-hand stores. The tea kettle used to belong to Tooru's older sister, and the cloths hanging on the drawer handles were one of each of their own choosing. The couch had come with the place, but it had Tooru's favourite blanket hanging over the back, and pillows that Shū had picked out. There were at least 3 volleyball's in the room at any given time, though the boys had started to store them in the corner after Shū had almost broken her neck tripping over one. The boys' bedroom was full of their own stuff, but she knew for a fact that her favourite mug and at least two of her shirts were lost in their stuff somewhere. The third bedroom had been completely turned into a study; the big desk had a variety of each of their textbooks on it, and the old stereo that they had just replaced was still outlined in dust on the shelf. They had split the cost of the new stereo and it was now equipped with a playlist that mixed all three of their musical styles, though they had mostly settled on soft Jazz for when all three of them were home. There were half a dozen paintings and posters hanging on the wall, two of which she had bought at a weekend street market. She belonged here. She was littered through these halls just as thoroughly as both of the boys were, and that was a scary thought. It was a scary thought because she wasn't entirely sure how to extract herself from these walls. Either way, she was determined to do it.

When the three of them moved in together, it was under the unspoken agreement that when they found their soulmate, she would move out. They hadn't asked her to. And probably wouldn't ask her to, even if their soulmate was someone else and had come into their space. But it was too much. She hated the way that they didn't know. She hated the fact that they accepted her and loved her even though they had no idea what she really meant to them. And most of all, she hated the way that all that would change when they found out.

"Whoa. That's a scary face." Tooru tilted his head down to get a good look at her, and her frown dipped down into a scowl. "You shouldn't wear a face like that so soon after eating something so sweet." He said it like a doctor recommending a prescription.

"Do you know what happened to my big mug? The blue one with the..." Hajime cleared his throat and Shū turned to him, surprised. She had thought that Tooru would definitely be the culprit of this mug thieving incident.

"It's in our room. I may have borrowed it when we ran out of clean mugs last week."

"Wow, Hajime, I would never have expected this sort of behaviour from you." She crossed her arms and shook her head, with Tooru quickly imitating the posture.

"Yeah, so disappointing, Hajime."

Shū continued without missing a beat, "Now, if it had been Trashykawa on the other hand..."

Tooru let out a mock cry, placing his hand over his heart. "This is how you repay me for bringing you a crepe!? How dare you wound me this way!" Suddenly, the urge swept over her to press a kiss into his hair that was falling perfectly back from his head that he had thrown back dramatically. Her chair scraped at the ground as she stood abruptly. The urge died off in her throat as she quickly threw out the crepe wrapping and left the room without another word. It wasn't until she reached the door of the room that she realized just how peculiar they had probably found her abrupt exit.

"I have a big project I'm working on. I'll probably be buried in my room or at the library for a few days." Then she shut the door behind her and she knew that they heard the unfamiliar sound of the lock sliding shut.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soulmarks:  
> Hajime is bold. Tooru is bold and Italics. Shu is Italics.

 

It was a few days, but the project she had been working on had nothing to do with school. Everything she owned was packed into two suitcases, four boxes, and a backpack. She had an appointment with the landlady of an apartment tomorrow and Kenma had agreed to let her stay with him tonight. Today was the day that she would finally do this. Damn the consequences, and damn the very precious thing that the truth would cost her. Damn it all. It was long since time.

The walk from the campus to their apartment wasn't very long, but she started it deliberately, taking out a pen and letting the sun hit her pale arms for the first time in a dozen years. Rolling up her sleeves, she took  a good look at what she'd written the night before.

_It's kind of sudden and neither of you seem like you like last minute plans. But are you free tomorrow evening?_

 They'd both replied yes and she had told them that she'd tell them where. Writing while walking made her words shaky but she wrote anyway.

_I'll be honest. I'm completely terrified right now._

Two sets of writing started, nearly overlapping each other

**_Don't be._ **

**We can postpone if you need to.**

_No, I want to do this. It's time. Give me five minutes and I'll tell you where to meet me._

**Okay.**

**_How was your day, Chikara-chan?_ **

Gratitude for Tooru nearly overwhelmed her, trust him to be perfect at reading the situation and knowing just how much she needed the distraction. For the next several minutes, Shū let her fingers carry on a light conversation, and let her feet carry her forward to her fate.

When she reached the foot of the stairs, she unzipped and took off her hoodie, revealing all of her strong arms. She'd worn her one tank top and the sweater just for this, but it still felt odd.

_Before we meet, I need you to do me a favor._

She replaced the pen with her house key and slid it into the lock. The house was nearly silent and she looked down at her arms one more time to see their replies.

**Sure.**

**_Anything._ **

Taking a deep breath, she called out a quiet greeting which the boys returned absently. She slipped off her shoes and followed their voices to where they were in the kitchen. Both boys were at the table anxiously, eagerly leaning over their arms, clearly waiting for a reply. Neither of them looked up at her as she stood in the doorway. A horrible moment passed where she wanted to call it all a mistake and run. But her anxiety couldn't get the better of her this time. She knew that this was right. So she took a second to memorize how it felt to stand here, and how they both looked in that moment. She soaked in this last moment before everything would be different.

Then she took the pen and wrote her request.

_Let's meet now. Right here._

"Wha-" Hajime quietly whispered as Tooru started to write his question on his arm. Shū didn't watch the ink spread on her wrist, she merely took a deep breath and wrote her next words.

_Look up._

It took them a moment to look at their arms and then at each other before their gazes finally fell on her. Her breath hitched in her lungs at their attention. At the sight of her bare arms, they only looked more confused, and she knew they would read her marks eventually but she picked up both of her hands. She felt their gaze keenly as they noticed the soulmate pen in her hand and watched her write into her palm. As soon as she wrote the word, she held her palm up to them.

 _Hey, Soulmates._ Was all that it said, and a very painfully long moment passed in between them. Then Tooru looked down at his own hand, at the identical words written there. Hajime followed his gaze several times, to his hand, and Tooru's, and back to Shū's again.

With their attentions back on her, her breath gusted out of her lungs slowly.

"Hey." She meant to say more, but barely had the voice to say that one word. The exact moment when they understood was nothing less than painful. The light in their eyes changed, and it was like they were seeing her for the first time. It was like that first day that they'd all met in the nurses office and their eyes had slid away from her without recognition, without a purpose to focus on her. An invisible wall went up across the room, dividing her from them. Though it was only in her heart, but she could practically feel the moment that it thudded into place between them. It was a wall that had a big sign on it that said "strangers".

Regret filled her and she tried to beat it back as she put on a show of calmly setting down her backpack and her sweater, though she pocketed the soulmate pen on impulse. Normally, she would have went to join them at the table, but it was like this wasn't her home anymore, so she stayed in the doorway.

She opened her mouth and took a breath, but no words passed her lips and eventually she shut her jaw again.

"Shū?" Hajime asked. He asked like he was checking if it was still her.

"Hey, Hajime. Hey, Tooru." She couldn't apologize enough so she didn't even try. Her words snapped Tooru out of his staring and his eyes became clearer but something far worse passed through his expression.

"How-" He had to take a deep breath to keep his voice even. "How long have you known?" Of course that was his first question. She took a deep breath and looked away as she answered.

"Remember the day Hajime saved me from walking into traffic? Yeah, it was... that same day."

"You didn't say anything. We've known each other for years. And you..." He stopped. His face was red but she couldn't tell if it was because he was angry or for something else.

"Why?" Hajime looked at her with a sorrow, a fear in his eyes and her heart wrenched at the sight. She pulled her lips into a pained smile.

"It's a long story. One I would like to share with you. If you want to listen."

"Just... Give me a minute." Tooru said as he placed a hand over his face and took several deep breaths. Hajime continued to stare at her. She waited. She could wait for as long as she needed to; they'd been waiting all this time for her, after all. Her fingers fidgeted around each other nervously as she waited for their reactions, and she fought back the urge to wrap her arms around herself, to try to hide them despite not having the sleeves. She thought that she was prepared for whatever it would be. She was prepared for anger, she was ready for them to question and yell. She expected terse words, and shaking heads, even tears. But nothing really prepared her for seeing it in person; for the "why?" in their eyes. Nothing made her ready for this exact moment as Tooru brought his hand away from his face and turned his gaze back to her. His eyes weren't angry exactly, but they were full of harsh clarity; it was the same look that he got when he was playing Volleyball. It was the look he reserved for his opponents and it held an unspoken challenge. After a moment of staring at her with those eyes, he held out a hand and she moved forward to comply. He didn't need to ask for her to slip her hand into his much larger one. Wordlessly, he turned the inside of her arm towards him so he could read the Soulmarks, like he was verifying that they were the same as his. It was undeniable truth that decorated all of their skins the same, but she slipped her pen out of her pocket and handed it to him. He took it and drew a single line across her forearm just to watch it bloom to life on his own arm. Hajime watched silently, only moving his eyes down to check his own arm for the same mark. Finally, Tooru released his grip on her and she let her arm swing down to her side. He averted his gaze and shook his head vigorously; and the motion felt like a blow to her chest.

"I know-" Her voice cracked on the words and she tried again, "I know that this is a lot different from what you were expecting." Their eyes just looked on at her silently, and she pulled her arms around herself, missing the comfort of the long sleeves. "It's a lot to take in, and I know that. I can see that you aren't ready to talk to me. So, I'm going to go." She tried to swallow the painful sentence along with the tears that threatened her eyes. "Um... When you're ready... If... Well, you know how to reach me."

Neither of the boys reacted. They didn't react to her words, and they didn't react when she left the room. They didn't say anything when she carried her suitcases out of her room, and they didn't do anything to stop her when she put her key to the apartment on the table in the hall. One last glance towards them assured her that she was on her own now. She opened her mouth, but shut it again when she felt the sob rise up in her throat. A single shaky breath gave her the strength to pull her eyes away, and she let her feet carry her out the door. The door closed behind her with a silent click; a click that sounded like a death sentence, a click that somehow defined the horrible separation between them. Her legs moved automatically, carrying her away from not just her soulmates, but also her best friends that she'd just lost in a single moment.

 

For over a week, she didn't hear a single thing from them. She didn't change her routine at all; she went for a run in the mornings, attended her classes, went to her job and studied. The only difference was that when she closed the door behind her at the end of the day, it wasn't Tooru and Hajime waiting for her. She stayed with Kenma for the first two days, and then she moved into a new place. It was a single room flat, that was cold and lonely and generally very pathetic. Not that she did anything to try to make it better. When she knew the boys would be at volleyball practice, she went over and got her boxes. She'd left her key the night she told them the truth, but it was more symbolic than anything. This time she used her spare key, and then left it with a note in the now empty room that used to be hers.

When she arrived at her new apartment, she stacked the boxes in a corner and slumped into the couch that had come with the place.

The faucet in the bathroom leaked, and the lights flickered instead of staying on properly. The window was stained so badly that it didn't let good light in. This was her life now. And she resigned herself to that reality. She stared up at the stained ceiling and realized that this is what her life would have looked like if she had never met Tooru and Hajime. Oikawa and Iwaizumi. Her mind felt numb, and she closed her eyes. Every part of her wanted to say "fuck it" and run away, or maybe do what she'd originally been planning back when she first met them. But she couldn't. Not now that they knew her, not now that they would miss her. If they even would. They'd blame themselves though, especially Tooru. And she couldn't let that happen. And she owed them a wait. She had made them wait for nearly 20 years. At the very least, she could have told them when they met, or when they found out about having a third soulmate. But she hadn't told them, and she had made them wait all this time for them. So she owed it to them to wait for at least that long in return. With that thought in mind, she peeled herself off the couch and prepared for school the next day.

It was almost two weeks after she had told them the truth that she even saw them again. She sent them messages but hadn't heard any replies, she was determined to be faithful about reaching out to them and not get discouraged by their silence. She didn't use the soulmarks to talk to them, but she messaged every day. It was hard not to get discouraged. For the first time in her life she got a taste of what she had done to them for the last 3 years, ever since they learned they had a soulmate they had been waiting for a reply, and now she could taste the same disappointment every day that she went unanswered as they had for so long. It was more than that too though. She missed her best friends and the gap that their absence left in her life was huge.

The coffee shop wasn't as busy as normal and it was easy to spot the tall head of perfect hair standing above most of the crowd.

"Toor-" his name disappeared from her lips as he looked at her. His eyes held the same confusion and hurt that they had weeks ago. But now his eyes had dark circles under them, his pale skin not helping the way he looked like he hadn't slept since she'd talked to them. Not that she looked much better, her own dark circles were probably just as obvious. She swallowed thickly. "Oikawa." She greeted instead. "Um.. hey?"

"Sakomoto-san." Shū drew back from him with a gasp as if he had slapped her. "If you'll excuse me, I have to get to class."

He didn't wait for any response before he brushed past her. And he didn't look back at her even as he walked out the doors and down the sidewalk. The pain in Shū's chest gave way to determination. She had decided to take action when she had first started replying to the words on her wrists, she couldn't abandon that determination now. But more importantly, she knew what it was like to be stubborn and to bury things that were eating away at you. It wasn't good for him to ignore this. It would stew inside him and end of hurting him. With that thought in mind she finished her last class of the day and headed straight to the boys' apartment.

 

"What are you doing here, Shū-chan?"

At least Hajime was willing to call her by her name. She took it as a small victory as they stood in the hallway just outside her old home.

"I have something to say, to both of you."

"Maybe I'm not ready to listen." Tooru tilted his chin up as he spoke the words.

"See, but I think you are. I know you Tooru, much better than you think." He opened his mouth as if to argue but she pressed on. "I can wait. I will wait for as long as you need. I kept you waiting for a long time and so I owe you that. But this isn't healthy. Be mad at me. Scream. Ask your questions. I know you have a lot of them. But I can't answer any of them if you don't ask." He met her statement with a close-lipped stare. After a moment, she turned her look to Hajime. His eyes were more sympathetic, more open to hear what she had to say, but he merely gave a small shake of his head.

"Okay." She said slowly, swallowing the disappointment at being shut out. Again. "I guess that's all I really have to say. I'll... I'll go." She made it almost to the stairs before Tooru called after her. His voice was sharp and angry, and she'd never loved the sound more.

"That's all you have to say? Not even an apology?" His anger was a relief to her, at least he was speaking to her. She turned back to him, not moving any closer as if she might spook him.

"I am sorry for a lot of things, what apology are you looking for?"

"How about for lying to us all this time? Or how about the 19 years of silence? How about the fact that you forced your way into our lives and made us want you to be here even though you don't even want us?"

"That's not true! Tooru!" She closed the gap in between them in only a couple deliberate strides. "I want you! The only thing I have wanted my whole life was to meet both of you. And then I did, and you were everything that I had hoped you would be, you were perfect. And I couldn't tell you, and that killed me. I am sorry. I should have told you when we graduated. It was the first time that I was really free to do so, and it was my fault that I didn't say anything at that time. And it's my fault that I haven't said anything since then. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But you have to know that this was never about you. It's never that I didn't want you in my life. Never." Now that she was telling the truth, the words spilled from her lips. "Before we even met I hoped, I dreamed, about meeting you. And actually meeting you... You were both just so perfect. Both of you. You are both the most wonderful people I've ever met. I thought that I could run away from you, distance myself. But you are perfect. How could I not want you? You're my best friends. And I miss you. And I'm sorry that it's my fault that we're not able to go back now. You are both so precious to me. I don't care how long it takes or what I have to do; I'd give anything to have you back."

Shū was impressed with herself that her eyes were dry; especially since the same couldn't be said about the two boys. Tooru tried to swallow back his tears, but his eyes were red and glistening.

"Why couldn't you just tell us?" He asked in a whisper, but before she could respond Hajime put a hand on each of their shoulders.

"Come on, let's finish this talk inside." He had to pull them both towards the door before he unlocked it and ushered them both inside. Shū felt her heart sigh in relief at being back home, but she carefully pressed down that feeling; there was no real indication that they wanted her to come back, and until she heard it from them, this wasn't her home. Shū sat down on the edge of the couch tentatively while Hajime went to make some tea and Tooru went to change his clothes. When they finally met her back in the living room they had all had a chance to calm down, and the heavy silence that settled over them weighed against Shū's soul. It physically hurt to be sitting there with the weight of their unasked questions and their expectations and their hurt all pressing in at her.

"Alright, Shū," Hajime said, his eyes brimming with gentleness. "We're listening. Tell us why." Tooru's brown eyes stared at her forlornly but he didn't speak to refute or refuse her. She took a deep breath. Her fingers automatically twisted around each other and she was caught trying to come up with the words. Finally she figured she would just start at the very beginning.

"My parents weren't soulmates." They nodded, they'd heard her say so before, but they didn't really know the rest of this story. "My Dad had a soulmate that he loved, that he married. She was perfect in his eyes and he really loved her. And she died. I never really heard all the details. All I know is that losing his soulmate changed him. My mom knew my dad for years. They apparently were good friends in school. Her soulmate was another girl, her platonic best friend, I guess. So after my dad's soulmate passed away, my parents married each other. The bitterness of losing his soulmate made him cruel, and it made him hate everyone who got to have and keep their soulmates. My mom said that he hated it when anyone was near to or even talked about their soulmates. So when the Soulmarks started appearing on my skin, he lost it. I don't know if it would have been any different if there was just one of you. I kind of doubt it. He was just so angry and so bitter, you know? My mom helped me. She got me the long sleeved shirts and taught me to tell little lies so no one would ask questions. And then she left." Their attention was perfectly focused on her, but she had to take a couple deep breaths before she could continue. "He... Got worse. Having my mom walk out on him was like the straw that broke his back. Anyway, his hate ran deep and I did my best to ignore and play off everything. So I learned not to look at my arms or talk about soulmates, or even think about it. It was just... Safer that way." Shū slowly drew her eyes back up to look at them; she didn't know when she had dropped her gaze to the pattern of the carpet.

"And then I met you. And I thought about telling you, but the thing is... You were just so in love with each other. You didn't need me. And I thought I would be okay with that. With being able to know that you were both happy. And then... Well... You found out about having another soulmate and I wanted to tell you then. But I couldn't. I couldn't because we were young and I couldn't let you give up anything for me or sacrifice like I know you would have. It wasn't safe for me to tell you. I didn't want you to be in any danger." She took a deep shaky breath before she could continue. "And after that, it really was my fault that I didn't tell you. I couldn't bring myself to tell you because I was afraid. I tried to not be, and I'm sorry that it took me so long. I just... I didn't want you to look at me like you are right now. I didn't want you to be upset with me. But at the same time, I thought you would be disappointed. You've waited for a soulmate this whole time, and it's just... Me. I'm sorry that I'm not what you were expecting."

Shū wanted to say more, but her throat sealed itself shut and she couldn't say anything else. So she folded her hands in her lap, keeping her eyes down and waited.

A warm hand entered her field of vision and squeezed around her hands. Startled, she looked up, following the strong arm back to Hajime's strong eyes.

"I'm not disappointed." He didn't say anything else. He didn't need to. On her other side, Tooru sighed, and swallowed thickly.

"I'm not either." His voice broke, but he pressed on. "I'm fucking confused, and I'm upset. But... Out of everyone that it could have been... Damn. I wanted it to be you." Finally he brought his brown eyes to look into hers. "I knew it was impossible, but I always wanted it to be you. Except, all of the sudden, it wasn't impossible. And I just... What am I supposed to do with this information?"

Shū did her best to keep the tears back and the sobs hidden in her throat.

"Let me make it up to you. If I can. I don't really know what I can do to make it up to you, but I'll try. I'll answer any questions that you have. Just... Don't shut me out."

Hajime nodded his agreement and after a moment, Tooru echoed the motion.

"Okay."

Silence sounded in between them for a long moment, no one quite knowing what to do about this entirely new situation. Finally, Shū opened her mouth.

"Do you want to go get dinner with me? I'll buy. And we can talk some more."

 

It was the beginning of many weeks of dinners and questions. They met up many evenings of the week, some nights they just talked, some nights they had many questions, some nights they went out and sometimes they went over to Tooru and Hajime's place.

 

Some questions were easier to answer than others.

"The night we found out about you. All those bruises... it was your dad, wasn't it?"

Shū rubbed her hands down her arms before she could find the voice to reply. "Yeah."

 

They never went to her place, which she was thankful for because if they knew how bad it was, they'd insist that she move back in with them and that's not what she wanted. She wanted to be with them because they wanted her to be there, not for any other reason. Two months they spent this way, trying to get to know each other again.

 

"Would you like to go out with us? Like... a date?"

Shū stared at them curiously and when the silence stretched on and Tooru started to look uncomfortable she quickly shook her head to bring her thoughts back.

"Yes! Of course I do. It's just... you asked that like that's not what we've been doing this whole time?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Me. I've been... dating you. Taking you out, getting to know each other... I mean... is that not what we were doing?"

"Uh..."

"Oh my god." Shū said,  lifting her hands to cover her flaming face. "Oh my god." She repeated. "I thought..." When she stopped flailing and took a deep breath she looked back at them, sudden determination in her eyes.

"Hajime. Tooru. Will you go out with me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're only like half way through what I have written for this at this point. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the rest of it, because it gets even more disjointed, lots of time gaps and stuff. I'm undecided about it at this point. Sorry!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published fanfiction. Be gentle with me please. Hahaha. I've been working on this for months and have a lot more to publish, I'm just posting this first chapter to get it off my chest and hopefully encourage myself to actually finish this. Regular updates are guaranteed to NOT be a thing. I suck at stuff like that. I'll do my best though. Thanks for reading!


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